Confessions + Obsessions

06May10

Ay bay bays! I’ve been doing some reflecting on my past few days of eats and life, and I’ve realized some things. I need to share my confessions and obsessions. Yes, need.

Confession: I’ve debated whether to write about this. Yes! It will help people! No! I will be shunned! Alas, I have to. This is a food-ish blog, after all.

Last Friday, as I was packing for home, I had a headache and was starving. What do I truly want right now? I always try to ask myself this.Β And this time, something within told me that I wanted a turkey sandwich. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I wanted nothing else to eat. So what did I do? Ordered myself a damn turkey sandwich.

To the average human being, this is nothing monumental. For the freakishly paranoid and obsessive, though, it is. It was the first time I’d eaten meat in an entire year. One whole year. And it was glorious.

Although I questioned myself with each bite– How do I feel? Am I guilty? Am I nauseated? Is this turkey going to make an encore appearance on my dashboard?— I do not regret my decision. It happened. I greeted the desire, said hello and then it left me. Like a ghost. I still consider myself to be a vegetarian. That sandwich was a blip on the radar.

I suppose that confession has led to a current obsession:

'Furkey sandwiches! Thank heavens for Tofurkey.

'Furkey peep show.

'Furk on a potato bun with peas and a Fuji.

Oh my yums.

Confession: I’m having a love affair with light mayo and those golden potato buns right now. After I eat a sandwich, I may or may not go back to the bag and eat half a bun. I mean, it’s not a horrible idea.

Obsession:

Zac Posen for Target.

Confession: I already splashed balsamic vinaigrette on the tank top. Zac, I’m sorry.

Obsession: Checking Ed2010 and Mediabistro every hour. It needs to stop. As in, I need to find a job.

Confession: The idea of moving to San Francisco, becoming a bartender and living it up becomes more and more appealing each day.

Obsession: Simpler breakfasts. I’d eat solely a cup of Chobani if it weren’t for my fear of boring you:

Peach Chobani with blackberries, Whole O's and peanut butter. Obligatory Koffee is becoming too hot for warm mornings.

How did I not know how darkly delicious blackberries are until now?

Whole O's with blackberries, almond milk and a smidge of peanut butter.

Confession: Instead of staying in Tuesday night, blogging regularly and going to bed (like I had planned), I went out with Banana and Man Friend. We had a marvelous time and a lovely dinner. (Organic, local greens, vegan tortilla soup and ridiculous seven-layer dip.) I must say that I cannot guarantee the regularity of posts right now. Spontaneity is the name of my last-month-of-college game.

Obsession: Lavender, grape, purple, schmurple:

OPI Lucky Lucky Lavender.

In the sunlight, for good measure.

L'Oreal dark purple liner on top.

Light purple on bottom, eye brightener in corner.

Quick how-to:

-Line top and bottom with Sephora Flashy Liner Waterproof in Flashy Mauve.

-Line top, outer corner lash line with L’Oreal Le Kohl Pencil Smooth Defining Eyeliner in Le Plum.

-Softly dab Physician’s Formula Eyebrightener in Natural Eyelight in inner corner of eye. I normally use my fingers. (Clean, of course!)

-Grab a small hand/makeup mirror and hold it below your eye so you can see the base of your lashes. Take Maybelline The Colossal Volum’ Express in Glam Brown wand out of tube. Immerse the wand into the base of your lashes. Wriggle left and right, slowly bringing the brush upwards, straightening as you go. Continue to coat lashes until you reach desired look. This often means three or four coats for me! (But I think there were two coats in this pic.)

Confession: I’m looking at that first eye picture again. I need to pluck my eyebrows.

Obsession: YOU ALL. May is our months, babycakes!

Ciao for now,

Kailey

QUESTIONS: What’s one confession and one obsession you have? AND To my vegetarians: Have you ever slipped up? How did you feel?

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84 Responses to “Confessions + Obsessions”

  1. Love the eye makeup – makeup is one of my obsessions!

  2. 2 Tay

    Oh lovie, how brave of you to post that! But you should feel completely comfortable to post anything you want – it’s YOUR blog and we’re always supportive! There was nothing wrong with eating that sandwich. You did the right thing if that’s what you truly wanted. And your eyebrows don’t look bad AT ALL. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

    Confession: I feel extremely guilty for the amount of cookies I’ve eaten yesterday and today. I’m not joking when I say it’s probably been 15 throughout the 2 days. No joke.

    Obsession: Coffee. The end.

  3. Remember how on your last post I said that we were like two peas in a pod? Well, guess what SnackFacey…I’m currently sporting Lucky Lucky Lavender as well, LOVING the tofurk after my strange meat cravings, and you know my feelings about doughy potato bread/rolls.

    Muah, muah! Now go drink a marg/tequila/corona πŸ˜‰

  4. OMG…i had the EXACT SAME FEELING when i ate meat for the first time after being veggie for more than a year. however, the same thing happened to me – i ate it, i got over it and realized that food was NOT something to freak out about. that’s why i went with everythingtarian – i loathe labels. all they do is make me want to rebel.

    and i LOVE LOVE LOVE that nail polish. purps is totes the new pink.

    and i love blackberries too. in yog messes, they are truly heaven.

    and MAY IS OUR MONTH. hells yeah for living it up in san fran as a bartended/veg news/diva extraordinaire. like i said, i call that life experience. it will come in handy when you need to write your memoir.

    must chat. man friend. may call my man friend tonight. gah, i don’t know! mama e says no but two guys i talked to say yes. what to do…what to do…what to do…

    • Hollah holls… you too rock my unlabled world. Youre philosophy is one to be idolized… not for its perfection (whatever that is) but for the lack of it. We all strive for perfection, yet claim to seek balance as well (contradiction much?) I finally realized with yours and snackfizzles help, that i need to let go of trying so damn hard to strive, or rather, direct my life in any specific direction.
      respect.
      love MA
      lilpauladean.wordpress.com

  5. p.s. that last statement is my confession and NO LONGER my obsession. booyah.

  6. 9 Cat

    Moving to San Francisco sans a job offer is not the worst idea anyone has ever had! That’s what I did and am SO HAPPY I’m here.

    Also, if you do that, hit me up. I moonlight (aka have part-time job that drives me bonkers) as a property manager. My building in Hayes Valley and has really decently priced studios (people from other parts of the country will laugh) for about $825 -$900. And they ain’t skeezy or I wouldn’t be livin’ here myself!

    Best of luck in the whole figure-out-your-whole-life-in-a-month thing! πŸ˜‰

    • 10 Abigail

      Hey Cat! I’m a friend of Kailey’s (HI KAILEY IMMA EMAIL YOU SOON) and I would lovelovelove to find out more about your apartments. I’m looking to move (I live by the beach now) in the next month or so, and am on the prowl. Is there an online listing for any of the available apartments?

  7. 11 erica

    i was vegetarian growing up, but my freshman year of college i broke it with nothing else but a turkey sandwich! i’m glad to see i’m not the only one to give into the lure of that combo and stray from veg eating haha

    confession: i ate tj’s crunchy almond flax butter out of the jar last night. with my finger. standing in front of the fridge. it’s that good.

    obsession: home decorating blogs and magazines. can not get enough!

  8. 12 Ilana

    Babygirl, I hope you freaking enjoyed that sandwich. I don’t see why it has to be about a label – it’s food! I understand the ideological connections to food some have, but I don’t think it’s political. You don’t have to put yourself in an iron box – life is about evolving and changing with the tide anyway. So hell yeah. I’m vegan at this point in my food journey, but I can tell you that along the path I’ve had some major lapses, and it doesn’t mean anything. And if people give you grief for it, fuck ’em, it’s not their body or their choice. And they didn’t get to enjoy a great sandwich.

    Purple is my biggest color obsession right now!! Everything I buy is purple. Also, loving your tank top.

    • 13 Ilana

      PS- confession: I procrastinate by looking at my reflection. I know. It’s so narcissistic and weird but I can never stop looking at myself, which is why I have huge mirrored doors on my closet. So I never have to.

  9. 14 Nicole G

    Hmm Confession? Sometimes I’m sure I want to get better but I always keep in the back of my mind that when things get scared I can crawl into the arms of my disorder – and I want those thoughts GONE.

    Obsession: Dawson’s Creek – Pacey and Joey ❀
    Re-watching Dawson's Creek with my roomie this semester and getting to the end of Season Three now has reminded me of my passions besides food/fitness/ed.

    I really appreciate your honesty and admire your lack of guilt. You shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt. As Leslie from thewholeplate.com has been demonstrating day in and day out to me is that you don't need to label yourself. Go for your cravings. Do what makes you happy. Not every choice has to become a habit or define you.

    Keep enjoying your last month of college – I have my last classes as an undergrad, 3 finals, and I'm a real person! How did this happen?!

    Nicole G

    • nicole babe, touche to everything but special props for the confession. That right there is going to get you places (or at least recognizing it). Denial is dangerous, i know ALL to well.
      MA

  10. You’re awesome for posting this. I no longer feel guilty for the random bites of steak my boyfriend talks me into “trying” (because he thinks I’m bizarre for not liking steak), or for accidentally eating chicken in salads when I try to go around it. I think it’s the intent that matters most- so you had a turkey sandwich, big deal! It’s not like you’re going start eating bacon for breakfast, turkey for lunch and a burger for dinner. Go with your cravings, my dear!

    Confession: I haven’t studied for my exam tomorrow, and I don’t plan to. It’s open back, and quite frankly, I don’t give a rat’s hiney about the class.

    Obsession: Flip flops. After a long winter of boots, they make me so happyyyy!!!

    Hope you have a fantabulous Cinco love!!

  11. Cray-cray (fyi, thats the first time in MAs life that Ive ever used that phrase… then again, referring to myself in the third might be another first)… anywho, I was actually considering asking you about meat cravings the other day. I know some people can cope with subs… but I know that if ive gone a while without some straight up animal iron, i definitely yearn for at least a couple bites-preferably bacon (hence my other non-updated blog everythingsbetterwithbacon.wordpress.com haha). As an environmental studies major who considers herself somewhat leaning towards absurdly eco-friendly, not to mention a majah fan of all things Pollan and Snackface, and then throw in there the fact that im a GIRL (is it just me, or is there a little bit of pressure for girls to shun meat? hrm.. just a thought) and finally, a blogger/reader of primarily vegan/veggie blogs, i feel uber guilty for loving meat as i do. Last meal before I die? Let it be an entire perfectly gawlicckkkk roast chicken with bacon studded mashed taters with extra REAL sweet cream buttahh. Is this shameful? It feels so. I think this is one of the primary reasons i stopped blogging. if i couldnt feel comfy sharing what i eat/love… why bother? Ironic that I was on the verge of asking you about the meat cravings and then BAM! you go and write this gem. I cant say enough how friggin straight up real and down to earth you are m’dear. So refreshing and i love it.
    MA
    lilpauladean.wordpress.com

    • PS: for most of my childhood i claimed i hated mayo because my best friend legitimately didn’t like it (and nearly gagged at the mention/sight of it). I was too embarassed to like it (much like my denial for liking cottage cheese and fruit when i was little). Then i went to france… where they bloody dip their pommes frites among EVERYTHING in the damn condiment. Would you like some fries with your aioli parisians? Anywho, I rekindled my love, especially for the homemade type during that trip and i cant imagine life without it. Respect.

  12. i’m all about the purple eyeliner – been wearing it for years! does wonders for green eyes.

    WOOP WOOP for spontaneity – eat up these last few weeks, girl!

  13. every time I’m hungover it’s a constant battle to NOT eat a cheeseburger. I rarely, but it does happen, eat meat. I still call myself a vegetarian because it’s easier if other people identify me as one – I don’t want others thinking they don’t have to take my meatless desires into consideration. I think it’s great that you let yourself eat what you want – sometimes those cravings can make you crazy if you ignore them.

  14. I haven’t eaten meat, but I’m sure a bite of a non-vegan cookie or muffin has passed my lips more than you’d imagine. I think the bigger tragedy for you (or I) would be to deny ourselves something that we want based on a label. I’m proud of you! And frankly, I’m guessing that some organic turkey might be better for you than Tofurkey (not that I’m hatin’ on the faux meat). Just don’t feel bad! Now staining the Posen shirt…that I might shed a tear over.

  15. 22 ari

    i slip up when i’m drunk =/ usually it’s with cow’s milk (i’m vegan), because cereal is the best drunk munchie food ever. and most of my friend’s houses are not equipped with almond milk. the next morning i feel more guilty about my actions, though, than my food choices ;).

    also, blackberries are HEAVEN in greek yogurt. oh, how i miss greek yogurt.

  16. This is a great post, girl! I like the theme!

    Confession: I haven’t washed my sports bra in…2 weeks? Is that too much of a confession? πŸ™‚
    Obsession: Whole-milk yogurt! I love Brown Cow’s maple flavor! And olive oil–I’ve fallen back in love with it!

    Have a great day, girl!

  17. 24 Ariffa

    pretty eyes. well eye, but I’m assuming the other one looks about the same

  18. We all slip up- no big deal! If you’re still mostly veg, don’t worry about it! πŸ™‚ I was a veggie for so long… I slipped up in Italy and became a meat eater again. But recently I decided it wasn’t for me!

    My confession? I don’t want to be vegan, really. I love food too much! I am a pescetarian, and I keep saying I SHOULD become vegan… but really I love eating dairy, eggs and a little fish! It works for me!

    Obsession? Ginger People Ginger Chews while I am blogging, and rediscovering delicious non-meat dishes! I love being a pesce again πŸ™‚

    xo
    K

  19. 26 katie

    confession: I went to a foreign country and got served chicken night one, after 13 hours of traveling. I hadn’t had any red or white meat (ate fish still) in 2+ years. I ate it. I loved it. I haven’t stopped eating chicken since, it’s been almost 5 months. The true confession part is that I say that I only eat all natural hormone free cage free etc chicken and only wild fish — but sometimes I cave and eat whatever is available because I like it. as someone mentioned above – I think that in some ways eating meat might be healthier than the processed fake stuff.

    obsession: coffee

  20. Love that nail polish! and good for your for going with what your bod wanted.. πŸ™‚ Plus, it brought you back to the amazingness of tofurkey. Yumm. Love the Zac t…I might have to go browse Tarjaaay.

  21. i started being vegetarian when i was 12, and over last 13 years of it i’ve gone back and forth so many times. the past five or so years i was vegan, but would occasionally eat dairy and once in awhile even meat. now, though, i’ve gotten to the point where i just don’t want it anymore. i think it takes YEARS, or maybe never for some people. i am now a proud 100% vegan, and am proud that you admitted what you needed and went for it!

  22. 29 Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth)

    im really proud of you for getting that turkey sandwich if that is what you wanted πŸ™‚ yay! and omg your eyelashes are GORGEOUSLY long.. must get that mascara STAT and i love the eyeliner too! & that color is really cute. i like this post too- very cutee!

    xoxox
    shelley

  23. Your confessions aren’t bad girl! I really have no confessions I don’t think.. I eat things all the time that aren’t considered “healthy” by the blogging community but I still eat them and blog about it. If people don’t like it, well, that’s their problem.

  24. 31 Rachel

    I have an obsession with nailpolish as well, but as an art major who paints often, having tidy nails is pretty impossible.

    And I’m with you on the coffee thing, except it’s tea for me. It’s getting hotter and I still drink it everyday. Maybe we should try adding some ice+some kind of sweetner? I can’t give up my green tea.

    Confession: When I was younger, I had a few moments where I’d pick my nose and eat the boogers, but it was all out of curiosity. I’ve stopped since then, boogers have no nutritional value.

  25. 32 Andrea

    How bout 2 confessions:
    1. I don’t like oatmeal! Sue me
    2. I just started a fire in my kitchen involving a dish rag and the broiler….

  26. 33 katie

    confession! i carry around cinnamon in my purse! u never know when ur gonna need it! i even put it on my coffee! is this weird?! prob! o well
    o and dont worry bout the turkey. im a meat eating girl!

  27. 34 Marissa

    I may be the only one to say it in the comments section but … that’s terrible you ate turkey. Really, why are you a vegetarian? Morals? I’ve been a vegetarian for almost ten years and have never had a slip up.

    • 35 snackface

      Marissa- I totally appreciate your opinion! I know, it sounds awful! Well, I guess it is! I do have morals, believe me. I did think about the fact that I was eating an animal, animal flesh, and I evaluated that the entire time. That fact alone is what makes me understand why I don’t think I’d be able to eat meat regularly. Reminds me of eating my dogs–animals I love with all my heart– to be frank. Ick! But on the other hand, I do believe in honoring what my body wants. I think it’s a tough thing for anyone who has come from a disordered eating past. Where do I stand? What cravings will I allow myself to give into? And for me, I need to take care of those things. I’m sorry, I know this sounds horrid, but I–me, this being, this vessel that will carry me through my life– is the most important animal to me. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I try my best to be mindful of other animals, but when it comes down to it, I gotta do me!

      • 36 Ellie

        Here’s my 2 cents on the vegetarian/non vegetarian issue . . . I would think of something described as a “slip-up” as something you regretted doing, felt guilty about and were fervently trying not to do again. I guess it’s the terminology to describe deviating from some previously established goal, but as you (Kailey) said you didn’t regret it so it doesn’t sound like an error so much as a decision to me.

        Just for what it’s worth, I was a vegetarian for five years, became really sick with anorexia, and then when I got better and started eating more than the four different things I had been eating for six months, I started eating EVERYTHING (in terms of variety, even things I had not liked before. My palate changed a lot! I used to not like avocados and olives!) including meat. Not that this is your situation or anyone else’s necessarily, nor relates to anything regarding the moral import of vegetarianism, but when I reflect on that time it seemed to me that I had more important anxieties about food than whether or not what I was eating was vegetarian.

  28. 37 Patrick

    Since I became vegan I haven’t so much as slipped up as I didn’t realize what I was eating wasn’t vegan because I just assumed it was without reading the label because I thought I did when I was “vegetarian”, then surprised that it is not when I find out it isn’t vegan.
    The last that I was “vegetarian” I had a major slip up and would have a craving for fried catfish and maybe would eat it anywhere from once a month to a few times a week. After a while I realized I should either go stricter on my diet and become vegan or just stop calling myself a vegetarian and just eat a high vegetable and fruit diet with the occasional meat.
    As for your slip up, don’t worry about it. Nobody is perfect.

  29. 38 Sonia

    Hi Kailey. OMG. Yours is like, my favorite blog. Seriously πŸ™‚

    My obsession…ugh probably fresh fruits! Like, tropical fruit. The more tropical the better.

    My confession. Oh YES. I was raised as a vegan/raw foodist. My dad was a raw foodist and my mom and step-dad were vegetarians. One day, when I was 20 years old, I decided that Texas Barbecue smelled amazing. Like, so amazing that I wanted to try it… My boyfriend at the time took me to a bbq joint and I ordered 1/4 lb of everything on the menu. Turkey sausage, brisket, chicken, german sausage, ham… I liked the brisket a lot. And bacon.
    I spent the next 2 years sampling random meats that I wanted to try. I made a promise to myself that I would not eat fast food. I kept it. I tried meatballs at an Italian place. Salami… fried chicken… I spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriend’s family and tried cornish game hen.
    A year later I went veg again. Sometimes I really wanted Salami. I ordered it from Jimmy Johns. I moved on with my life. I was still a vegetarian.
    Sometimes I wanted fried chicken. I’d get some. Eat the fried outside off and discard the rest. I was still a vegetarian.
    Two years later I’ve been a STRICT vegetarian (no meat samples) for…2 years. I think if i crave something, or want to try something (I’ve always wanted to try a scallop), I will try it. And then I’ll move on with my life. I’ll always be a vegetarian.

  30. 39 jenna

    great job on eating that turkey sammie in over a year- i bet it was amazeeee!
    btw you are gorg πŸ™‚
    Jenna

  31. 40 jenna

    girl-great job on eating that turkey sammie!
    btw you are gorggggg πŸ˜‰
    Jenna

  32. 41 Anna

    Confession: I’m totally unmotivated about school at the moment, and it’s been this way for over a month. As much as I’d like my GPA to creep up by a few decimal points, I’d rather spend my time reading Vogue, painting my nails, and facebook stalking people. It’s not the best way to spend $50 K a year.

    Obsession: Greek yogurt. Ever since I ended my stint as a vegan I’ve been eating it twice a day. I’ve definitely been getting my protein and calcium needs met (and probably well exceeded).

    As far as slipping up, I’ve never intentionally eaten meat. I’ve eaten seafood, but not chicken, beef, or pork. When I was vegan, though, I would sneak dairy and eggs all the time. If my roommates made a cake or cookies, I would totally eat one and feel guilty instantly. After several months of this I realized that I shouldn’t continue lying to myself and others. Now I’ve gone back to eating dairy and eggs and I no longer feel compelled to sneak food. It’s a great feeling.

    Don’t feel bad about that one delicious sandwich. A nice, mayo slathered turkey, lettuce, and tomato sandwich is something that I occasionally dream about.

  33. 42 Amy D

    I commend you because your turkey feasting could have easily been your little secret, but instead you were honest with yourself & your devoted readers. πŸ˜› I am so glad you didn’t mention feeling guilty because you shouldn’t be. I guess it would depend on your reasoning for being a vegetarian… For example, I was vegetarian for 6 years, beginning at age 15. However, I was a BAD vegetarian. I lived on cheese fries & white rice and didn’t eat many vegetables at all. But I was REALLY into animal rights & being environmentally conscious and all that jazz. In my first years of college I read “My Year of Meats” (highly recogmend it) & became intrigued by meat toxicity. But, about two years ago I gave it all up and became an omnivore. I still eat mostly vegetarian, and I consume turkey, chicken & fish/seafood a few times a week. I try with all my might to avoid anything growth-hormone-laden but I can’t deny that a few chicken mcnuggets haven’t passed my lips. Recently I started to think about going back to vegetarianism now that I know how to be healthy, and eat a balanced diet sans animal flesh. I would probably actually still be pescatarian because I love eating sea creatures. πŸ™‚ But anyway, when it comes down to it my heart just isn’t into it like I used to be… and so I am focusing on eating a lot less meat in my diet. Oh, and when I started eating meat again I hid it from my family for a few months because I knew I’d catch a case over all the diet grief I’d given them for years… but I think you should eat however you want! πŸ™‚ Make your body happy.

  34. 43 healthnuttxo

    ahh how i love you! you are just too funny. i had the tofurky, i agree it’s awesome. i haven’t had a slip up- yet. Altho i’m pescetarian, so i still eat fish and chicken, but i haven’t had fish nor chicken in months. i just dont want it. dont crave it. im considering going full veggie, actually πŸ™‚
    hmm..
    confession- ive been eating the same snack every night for the past 4 months. 1 double chocolate chip muffin, 1 kozy shack pudding (dark chocolate Simply Well), with 2 crumbled Nutridel cookies or drizzeld peanut butter on top. yum. (maybe that should be under obsession?)

    obsession- biology! (kidding). haha no really, i’m obsessed with kickboxing. i’d totally go everyday if I couldddddd

    xoxoxLisa

  35. 44 Lola

    Confession: I’m obsessing to much over my boyfriend.
    Obsession: Said boyfriend.

  36. 45 Jenny

    Pretty eyes! And your eats are up to you & you alone- enjoy them!

  37. Great eye makeup, great Zac shirt…love the orange plates/dishes, too.

    Slip ups, as a vegan, with dairy only. Not really on purpose but if its a trace ingredient, i dont care..at all.

    Thanks for the modeling contract compliment! Yes, I am excited and hope I get work. Anyone can get signed, to work is another story. I would love to hear all your stories on the matter and your experiences!

    Thanks for swingin by today hon!
    xo

  38. I love that you are open about how/what you eat. And I love that you don’t just label yourself and you eat what you want/when you want. Refreshing!

    and you’ve got some killer eyebrows by the way!

  39. 48 Erica D

    I’m in transition to vegetarianism (not really for ethical reasons but for those of sustainability and just government regulation), and sometimes I slip, but I think it’s mostly because on a college campus, meat is in close proximity and in the dining hall, sometimes it’s part of a dish I really happen to love (paella? shepards pie?) so I just go with it. But once I’m out of the environment, I’m confident that I will have no cravings for it. Right now it’s just a matter of convenience.

    But after this summer, I’m studying abroad in Jordan. And they have amazing lamb. It would be terrible to miss out! My view: listen to your heart and do what you feel is right. Have your turkey sandwich, it looks scrumptious!

  40. You are so beautiful and so true to yourself. I think we all appreciate your honesty and openness more than anything. I believe it’s so important to listen to your body and give it what it needs.

    It makes me think of one of my favorite poems…Wild Geese by Mary Oliver..

    You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees
    For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body
    love what it loves.
    Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
    Meanwhile the world goes on.
    Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
    are moving across the landscapes,
    over the prairies and the deep trees,
    the mountains and the rivers.
    Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
    are heading home again.
    Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
    the world offers itself to your imagination,
    calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
    over and over announcing your place
    in the family of things.

    • 50 snackface

      Gillian- Oh my goodness, this is one of Muffin’s all-time favorite poems! “You do not have to be good.” So key. Thank you for sharing this!

  41. 51 Lucie

    Confession: I should be working

    Obsession: Online shopping

  42. Hey Sweetie-
    Life is confusing and full of ups and downs! You take all the time you need to feel more assured and tranquil. We will all be here for you! Uncertainty is such a difficult thing- and I am really struggling with it myself! Glad you went out with ‘man’ and banana! Good friends are hard to find. I think you should refer to ‘the man’ as ‘man snack’ lol.

  43. sometimes when im home im forced to eat some chicken becuz there is absolutely nothing else for me to eat unless i want to starve…sometimes i feel guilty but then i remind myself that this is my body and labels should not define me…and those turkey sandwiches definitely are body cravers that definitely grab at you! when i first became vegetarian, i was vegetarian except for my lunch of turkey sandwiches! lol i finally cut it out of my life to go full veg but if i were to eat it again i would not call myself not vegetarian! never feel guilty for answering ur body cravings!! i must try this tofurkey! ive never been a mock meat fan but it looks really good!

    -Lena

  44. For me, vegetarianism is really just about the overall reduction of your impact. I wouldn’t be stressing a serving of cold cuts every now and again, at all.

    My confession: Six cups of coffee. Still tired.

    My obsession: the new bag of coffee I bought at Starbucks, though seeing how much it takes to just feel awake, I am less impressed with it now.

  45. 55 Colleen

    Ex-nay on the confession-ay – that just implies guilt and I don’t think anyone should feel guilt about honoring their body. I mean, if you were a vegetarian for health reasons I don’t think anyone *ahem* would be berating you for dishonoring YOUR body! They would be all like “WOOHOO GIRL!” I think those that get up-in-arms about stuff are mostly concerned with labels and people adhering perfectly to rules…because people who label themselves are perfect right? HAHA, I just hate labels. I mean, I’m a Christian and all but I still cuss and sin.

    The best advice I was ever given was by Caitlin (of Healthy Tipping Point fame), she said that even eating a diet mostly vegetarian was great for the environment and animals. Besides, how can I honor another body (human or animal) if I don’t honor my own first? I have two kitties and a puppy that would heartily agree I’m still an animal lover even though I eat chicken and fish once in a while. Rock on and eat what you want. And you know what? If you never eat meat again, I will not judge you for that, nor will I judge you for eating meat. You have to do what works for Kailey, but based on your comments above I think you’re doing that perfectly. πŸ™‚

  46. 56 Theresa

    Love your honesty! I was a strict vegetarian for 15 years and one day, out of the clear blue, I decided I wanted to eat meat! I ate it without guilt and do so every now and again…without guilt. In my experience, deprivation leads to a disordered relationship with food. Life is all about finding balance and happiness, so I try to take that approach with food and exercise. My philosophy…if you want it, have it, but don’t overanalyze the enjoyment out of it.

  47. sometimes you gotta have some meat girl! πŸ˜‰
    i had an intense craving for beef tacos last night (Cinco De Mayo anyone?) and so the BF and I headed over to Kroger to pick up the ingredients. It tasted like a party in my mouth but I definitely felt a bit guilty afterwards. Black bean tacos next time πŸ™‚

  48. Bartending in San Francisco sounds none too shabby to me! DO IT!
    A simple breakfast is oft what one wants…I feel that. Go with it (noone will mind, promise!)

    Currently obsessed with: cinnamon raisin bagels with lashings of soy free earth balance. Random. Delicious.

  49. regarding the turkey thang – very brave of you to admit on the blog, and it goes back to the reason why I hate labels. Oh well, you ate turkey. Some people who take labels like “vegetarian” very very seriously could jump all over that, but what’s the point in being super super rigid. You did, and like you said, it was just a one time thing. Not sure if I got my point out there…but I hope you know what I mean πŸ˜€ I think I’ll probably end up eating seafood once again..some day.
    Those beautiful nail and eye pictures are very makeupalley-esque. Are you a member there? If not, you should go there, stat!

    Confession: I feel bad for eating sugary cereals from time to time for dessert (hello chocolate Cheerios?) when everyone else is eating their Kashi Go Lean…
    Obsession: Chocolate Cheerios! haha, I kid. Well, no I don’t. But also Strawwwwberries right now!

  50. Confession: I haven’t cleaned my bathroom shower in a LONG time.
    Obsession: Devouring Avocado on anything. Damn you East Coast and your ridiculous avocado pricing or else I’d be eating one a meal….

  51. Your comment on my little blog made my day. So glad you liked the song! Knowing what I know aboutcha, I think that one would be right up your alley! It is one of my current obsessions!

    Beautiful eye makeup, btw.

  52. Love the eye makeup! Thanks for posting the how-to.
    Cheers!

  53. i love that you honor whatcha crave. aint no shame! your eyelashes are the best in the business.

    ❀ you

  54. 64 Queen

    Hi snackface! I think you’re going in the right direction with your cravings. A longtime (10 year vegetarian) friend confessed she couldn’t keep eating vegetarian if it wasn’t for her hotdog fix a couple of times a year. Whatever does it for ya! I once chugged a bottle of grapefruit juice standing right in the juice aisle. I HATE grapefruit….

  55. 65 Amanda @ HopeHasAPlace

    Aren’t blackberries the best?!

    I haven’t tried tofurkey. I tend to eat vegetarian, but I will eat fish and poultry. Not pork or read meat. I did have ham on Easter and felt horribly guilty afterwards.

    Confession: cereal + chocolate for lunch.
    Obsession: coffee. hot, iced, whatever. I just drink it too much for my own good!

  56. 66 clairedille

    Confession: I do slip up with non vegan baked goods sometimes (not very often, but it’s happened in the last few years more than once)

    Obsession: cereal post dinner, and sometimes chocolate…

    p.s. I love your brows…no worries!

  57. 67 Beth

    i looooove the eye makeup! Great blog!

    • 68 snackface

      Beth- Thank you so much! Welcome to le SnackFace!

  58. i WISH i could do my makeup like you! georgeous

    good for youlistening to your cravings and giving into what you really want! I have nver tried tofurkey…does it taste like real deli turkey?

    confession: I just discovered the wonderfulness of a curling iron to pump up my limp hair and may spend every free minute I have practicing my curling skillz

  59. Wow, you are talented with the makeup girl, I could take a lesson or two from you.
    Confession: I think I have an obsession with doing abs, I’ll do them pretty much anytime of the day haha.

  60. 71 sarah

    love the nail polish and eye makeup!! so pretty!

    i am a vegetarian and have never slipped since i made the decision but only because i truely hate hate hate all meat. i always have (ok since i was like 8 or 9…apparently i liked hot dogs as a child…vom) and pretty sure i always will. i only ate meat out of convenience (still hated it) and finally 2.5 years ago i decided to stop. i think most people aren’t like me though so i think is so ok and so normal to slip! i say eat what you want! i don’t think it should be about labels. you are usually a vegetarian and sometimes you like some meat…go for it!!!

  61. 72 sarah

    to add on to my comment…i am a vegetarian who eats seafood sometimes! whoops! i love shrimp! see, labels suck:)

  62. 73 elise

    dude, you do whatever you want. its your life and you only live once, and there is no sense in denying yourself something because of how you have been operating up to that point. we are humans, and to be human is to make choices. each and every day you have a choice to eat animal products. choosing not to 99% of the time doesnt mean you have to withhold that 1% too. if anything, it means you should feel less “guilty” (ew, horrible word choice) for that rare time you DO want something that isnt veg friendly. whatevs.

    soooo…yeah, until last month I hadn’t had meat foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…and then we went to le bernardin. and im sorry, but when you go to a restaurant thats in the top 10 list of THE WORLD, you just do tha damn thang. so oh well right?
    if you crave it, you should go for it. half the time i crave something and then i finally get around to eating it, and its like i have remembered it with a heightened fondness or something? its not quite as good as i had been imagining it to be. thats kinda how it is with some nuts for me. i think peanut butter isnt as good as i want it to be. maybe almond butter has ruined it for me. i dunno…i guess as long as you were satisfied thats all that matters.

  63. 74 Brenna

    I try mostly to not eat meat (unless it’s meat from my family’s ranch because I know how well those cattle are treated and that they’re fed the good stuff) but every once in awhile I crave it. So then I eat it. No biggie. I agree with your philosophy that if you’re hungry for something you should eat it. Guilt about food is silly and can be unhealthy. If you do the “right” thing most of the time there’s no cause for concern. Hooray for spontenaity! I love reading your bloggy daily but the last semester of college is made for having FUN! So live it up girlie- you’ve earned it!

  64. Good for you for listening to your cravings!

    If there is one thing that I have learned over the years it’s that ignoring a craving is like slamming the door on a trick-or-treater… it will only come back– only angrier and with a posse!

  65. Confession: I often turn off my phone so I don’t have to talk to anyone.
    Obsession: feather earrings. LOVE!!

    Oh, and I MUST find that nail polish. The peeps at OPI sure do know what they’re doing…

  66. I love Tofurky! I’m not a vegetarian, but I love a lot of vegetarian foods. I’ll never completely give up meat, but I have reduced it dramatically in the past year. Mainly because I don’t really like it unless it’s perfect. I’m very OCD with my meat cuts, lol.

    You have the most beautiful skin!!

    Jenn

    • 78 snackface

      Jenn- Thanks for the skin love πŸ™‚ It’s doing something funky in the chin area, so I’m not pleased at the moment.

  67. 79 Lia

    You know Kailey, I always feel indreibly guilty whenever I have some tuna (which is very rarely) and I feel so stupid.
    It’s not like I’m on a program and I am forbidden to eat certain types of food, it’s *my* choice to eat this way.
    The same with labelling oneself a vegetarian, pescetarian etc. it doesn’t matter, I am me and you are you. πŸ™‚
    I don’t have to justify myself to some veggie court or something and as long as I feel happy and contempt with my food choice I will continue this but I told myself, as soon as I completely went veggie that if one day I feel like I have to force myself to stay away from meat, I will stop and think about a change.

    xxx

  68. 80 Magdelene

    ahh, my heart just died a little when i saw your post…but i had kinda been expecting it. mmm, i love love LOVE your blog, plus i guess i can’t expect anybody to be super duper perfect. Although i just want to raise a tiny little objection to some commenters saying things along the lines of ‘if you crave it do it/do whatever you want’ because you sometimes have to limit yourself as there are some things that you probably should not do (eg stealing just because somebody felt like it), ya know? but since meat-eating is not a crime, nobody has the right to stop you.
    although i hope that if you start eating meat again, you won’t diss vegetarianism/veganism! i’ve read these ex-vegan blogs and they seem to have major HATE going on 😦

    Oh, your make-up skills are awesome! And your style is ridiculously amazing!

    Love, Magdelene πŸ™‚

    • 81 Lia

      I absolutely see no connection between theft and eating meat, sorry.
      When your body craves it’s for a reason, a lot of people don’t listen to their body and dictate it which works for some and for others it doesn’t.
      What people forget is that the body is smart and while I see your point in not eating whatever the hell you want (i.e. junks, processed food high sugar etc.) there’s a huge difference between letting yourself go and get addicted to bad food and listening to a true craving and satisfying it.

    • 82 snackface

      Magdelene- Honeybun, don’t you worry– I’d never hate on vegetarianism/veganism! I completely understand what you’re saying about how some people get a bit of the haterade when they’ve gone from veg to meat-eater. I just wouldn’t do that! I’m all about doing what makes YOU happy and supporting that.

  69. 83 Azure Jaymes

    Girlfriend,

    I have to share with you this spectacular lunch I created that I’m eating. Shredded cheese melted on a spinach tortilla wrap (that ALONE is orgasmic). Add homemade guac. Top off with — get this — tortilla chips. SO YUM!! OK I’m going to continue grubbin’ before I get my keyboard all cheesy.

    Loves. See you soon πŸ™‚

  70. Blackberries are my favorite!!


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