Rated R

23Feb10

BABYCAKES!!! I’ve missed you so terribly much! This is going to be an all-ova-the-place post, so I hope you grab snacks and get comfortable.

Also, much of this post will include “Quotes of the Weekend.” Because these quotes are nowhere near usual blog appropriateness, I’m rating this one R. But you may already expect this on SnackFace. As the one and only Weezy raps, “‘That’s too explicit’, well why you listenin’?” Let’s get it poppin’.

Friday started with a hot bowl of Dark Chocolate Dreamy oats:

Gasms left and right.

It then moved onto a bossy workout with Rolling Stone. Takeaways from the Weezy article:
-“We’re here to live. We’re here to do, we’re here to be. And this here, this is what I’m doing, so I’m gonna do it. Because when it’s over, man, it’s over.
-“What am I addicted to, being great?” Brilliant. I knew the weekend had good things in store at this point.

I hopped home and refueled:

Savory cottage cheese with chickpeas, celery, pepper, chili powder and hot sauce.

Then the ultimate transformation took place. Ladies and gents, I can turn you from a human to a Carter. OK, really, I can transform me from a man to a fierce diva. Watch:

Man.

Step one: Shower.

Step two: Twist hair into bun when 90 percent dry. Put face on (how-to is on its way soon!):

Kiss. Gotta keep the color flowing with the shower curtain.

Step three: Take hair down, spritz with hair spray and scrunch:

Super simple.

Step four: Put together whole outfit, tank, jeans, belt, heels and snake bangle. Pose for yourself and feel tool-y. I mean fabulous:

I like that my sweatpants are chillin' in the background.

Once completely glammed up, I had a performance with my a capella group. We KILLED it.

Afterward, I met Muffin and her bestie from childhood. We’ll call her Tropical. They are adorable:

J'adore.

It is at this point in the night that so much happened, I have to relay it in quotes. People will be unnamed, and you may assume what you’d like.

Is it bad that my tampon string is longer than my dress?” This person ended up changing dresses.

A: “There’s my stalker.
S (for stalker): “Are you stalking me?

I don’t need a boy. I just need some arms to cuddle me.

I ❀ Muffincake.

My nipples probably popped out, but whatever.”

Frightening.

You can stand under my Terrell-a, ella, ella, eh.

Getting down on the flo' with bubbles-- from which I ran away.

I just like making my a$$ jump up and down.” Sorry, no evidence of this. Must trust.

I need to stop doing my signature dance move, which is leaning back and gyrating into the air. It’s obscene.

The night ended at Muffin’s place, where we feasted on pretzels and Sabra, and fell asleep in a garlic-infused haze.

Saturday morning came about four hours after going to bed. Something Muffin and I apparently never do: sleep. Who needs it! Instead, we said our ciao-for-now’s to Tropical and headed to brunch:

Demolished that.

Muffin and I lounged a bit, but homegirl had–get this– a date with Prince DJ at 7pm. I’m not sure whether you know this, but dates in college don’t really exist. At least, Muffin and I haven’t really experienced a real date in college. Alas, my boo was to meet up with a dimey DJ for dinner.

As young women who are foreign to real dates, we looked to one woman for advice: MamaJ. Here are MamaJ’s words of wisdom:
-“Don’t show too much skin. Leave something to the imagination.
-“Don’t drink too much, or he’ll think you’re a lush.
-“Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu.
-“Just be your fabulous, loving self.
-“Don’t give up the cookie too soon if you really like him.” Does this mean it’s OK to give up the cookie if you don’t like him?

MamaJ kills me.

Muffin must have tried on 12 different outfits, but in the end she wore something you’ll recognize:

Sex kitten! So ferosh.

Muffin was looking fab for her date. I’m so happy we can share clothes. πŸ™‚

As Muffin dined with Prince DJ, I sat at home, painted my nails and waited for her date to be over. I’m telling myself this is not sad. I wouldn’t know what to do on a date anyway, other than explain why I was taking pics of my food.

How did her date go? I’ll let the quotes speak for themselves…

-“I think I’m going to keep taking you on dates until I somehow convince you to marry me.”

-K: “I cuddled with Muffin.
MJ: “Does that mean no one ate cookies?

With Fridays and Saturdays like that, it’s no wonder I’m glum on Sundays. For Sunday’s breakfast, I made banana oats for Muff and yoats for me:

Good, but not as good as the Combos and Sunchips I also had.

Muffin had to work at the paper all day, and I really needed to pull myself out of a Sunday slump. To the gym with my Media Law book I went! Cardio works wonders.

When I returned home I snacked on cottage cheese, showered, tackled an apple and then headed to the store for some salad fixings. Does everyone else mean to buy a few things and end up spending $50? Just wondering.

Before serious studying could start, I needed a proper meal:

Spiral of boiled sweet potato with ketchup.

Spinach, mushrooms, cherry toms, cucumber, corn and spicy peanut dressing.

I thought last week’s carrot was huge, and then I met this:

I told you this post was rated R.

Decently fed, I had to get down to biznass. I studied Media Law from 8pm to 3am. I can’t even tell you how difficult this was. All I wanted to do was sleep. Instead, I fought sleep with popcorn, cereal, carrots, Twizzlers, pickles. You know, the usual brain foods.

I went to bed at 3:30am and started my Monday at 7:30am. Zombie doesn’t begin to describe how I felt. You can see what my priorities were with the breakfast shot:

Coffee circumference = oats circumference.

Multiply that huge mug by four and you have my total coffee consumption for Monday.

I studied from 8am to 10, when I finally took a break, changed into my gym gear and headed out the door.

Of course, the studying continued on the elliptical. Fifty-five minutes later, and I had libel, privacy, fair press-free trial and 30+ cases down. I rewarded myself with major AAA (arms, abs, a$$) work.

When back at the ranch, I showered, dressed and made a lovely lunch:

Spicy pita with Fuji and snap peas.

In the pita: Sabra, hot sauce, mustard, balls, spinach and mushrooms. It was messy and amazing:

Will make this again, fa sho.

As soon as I finished eating, I started to study again. I get really paranoid and anal when it comes to exams. As if you couldn’t already tell.

A couple hours later, I was hungry and jittery. Tried to solve it with this:

Luna and notes. Took care of the hunger, but not the nerves.

I get to a point where I know everything and stop paying attention to what I’m actually reading. This is when I have to tell myself to stop, step away from the notes and turn my attention elsewhere. So I turned to my hair and mirror:

Dressed for success. I figured that a collegiate look would help me on the exam.

I jogged to class and eagerly awaited the test. The worst part about waiting is listening to all the other students ramble about the cases and how they’ve memorized them. It messes with my head! I talked to my neighbor to drown it out.

Then, tests were handed out. Scantrons were bubbled in. Exams were dominated. The exam started at 4:10pm. I finished at 4:26. I hope I did well!

I celebrated with a Diet Coke and a Muffin visit. At 6pm I left her office, galloped home and threw together a quick dinner:

Tup salad on my dirty stovetop. And "my dirty stovetop" is code for nothing else. Swear.

In the mix: spinach, bell pepper, celery, corn, chickpeas, mushrooms and honey mustard dressing.

Since dinner, I’ve gone to a capella practice, snacked on bowls of cereal and two pieces of bread with hummus and written this monster post. It’s 11:18pm and I still have a 2,000-word personal essay to write. What I’d really like to type in response to this assignment is definitely rated R, but I’ll just sign off for the night. Love you all!

Ciao for now,

Kailey

QUESTION: Is your vocab rated R? AND Do you have any dating advice?

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91 Responses to “Rated R”

  1. Dating advice = be yourself! Laugh, smile and have fun.
    Also, when I was dating I had a test… I’d slip the server my credit card when she or he brought over the bill. Some guys would get really put off, but the cool ones appreciated it and bought our drinks or meal the next time around. It was and still is important for me to show my independence, and the last guy I tried this on is my boyfriend of 5 years!
    Great post, as usual! Looking forward to the makeup how-to.

  2. that might be the longest..and dirtiest cuke I have ever seen!

  3. I LOVE YOU!! you are freaking ADORABLE. please lets hang out?!?! you and me are different but we could learn alot from each other.
    dating advice-be YOURSELF , seriously, and relax, have fun and enjoy yourself! you deserve it!
    DARK CHOCOLATE DREAMS?! YES PLEASE! im having OIAJ in it tommo..HOLLAAA
    GREAT hair tip! i tried that w. my hair once and it looked like i put my finger in a freaking socket-maybe i should try again
    can you look ANY more model=ish in that all black outfit pic?! FOR REAL.
    LOVE YOU! you gona be eating cukes foeva!

  4. sounds like a fab weekend, minus the studying πŸ™‚ Good luck with the paper!!!

  5. Omg hahaha, my friends and I are preeeettty crude……aaaand slightly perverted, haha. But still ladies πŸ˜‰ …aka we would get along quite well!

    Loved this post btw and I’m soo becoming OBSESSED with Weezy. Speaking of obsessed, I mean dating (haha, jk don’t stalk it never works), I don’t think anyone can give exact advice that works for everyone except 1) MamaJ’s rules 2) Be yourself 2) Don’t change for any guy and 4) If you aren’t *you* around him, then he’s not right for ya.

    I thought I was in lurrrve in college but my roomies always told me I was different around him (more introverted, quiet, etc.). Looking back, I totally agree. So find the man that you can be your goofy, R- Rated self around and who will (obviously) encourage you to take endless pictures of your food πŸ˜‰

    Have a FAB week chica xoxoxox

    Lauren

  6. A1: Right now, yes. A2: I thought I had dating advice… but once again, just like everything else right now, I’m not so sure anymore.

    Can I come visit you? Please?!

    • 7 snackface

      Danielle- Please visit. How does this weekend work for you? πŸ™‚

  7. Ive definetly done the bun-hair spray-scrunch technique. It’s fast and effective!! Haha

  8. 9 Elizabeth

    I am so spazztic about exams too! I always study to the point where I don’t pay attention to what I’m reading, like you said. I also hate when people talk about how ready they are, even if I am too! I am afraid of hearing something I don’t know. Oh, I also hate when people discuss answers after the exam, because it’s disheartening if I found out right away I already got stuff wrong. πŸ™‚ I am sure you did great on yours!!

  9. 10 Mind Body and School

    Umm… I probably shouldn’t read your blog right before I go to sleep because I swear I will be dreaming about Dark Chocolate Dreams PB tonight (the product name really is quite fitting). And I may possibly be copying your collegiate look ‘fit tomorrow. hope you don’t mind!

    • 11 snackface

      Mind Body and School- First off, cute name. And definitely feel free to swipe the ‘fit! That’s part of why I share!

  10. i was hoping for nudity in this post when i saw the title. way to disapoint me, mama. ah well, at least i got some DCD porn and vegetables that could be in explicit vids. speaking of, i ate cheetahs tonight and the tater was longer than my basset hound. youda been proud. love you.

    ps dont worry about being busy. i am too. LOVE

    • 13 snackface

      janetha- So sorry to disappoint! I think wordpress would get rid of me if I showed nudity, or else… LOL

  11. dating advice: smile and be yourself πŸ™‚

    i love your hair scrunched like that! i straighten my hair way too much

  12. lovely weekend recap snacklette! i love how you dominate bowls of cereal, just like me, WHYYYY IS IT SOOOO ADDICTING??!!?!?

    keep doin’ yoo thang ma, who needs dates when you can have dance parties! πŸ˜‰

  13. 16 SarahG

    Hi Kailey Baby,

    great post as usual- you make me laugh every time;-) You definitely are a great writer!!

    I want to ask you something not related- Do you ever weigh yourself? It seems like you are so carefree about everything.. so I’m just interested how you handle the that or do you just don’t care if you gain weight/loose weight?

    Love your lifestyle,
    keep on going hon!

    Greeting from Germany

    Sarah

    • 17 snackface

      SarahG- Awww thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! This is a fantastic question. I really don’t remember the last time I weighed myself! I think it was in October? I’ll be rather candid here. I don’t really mind if I gain/loose weight, as long as I feel good and my clothes fit relatively well. Things are snug now, and I’m fine with that. For me, it’s not worth it to know these numbers. I know I’d associate an emotion with a number, and that’s something I don’t want to do. I would hate for weight fluctuation to affect my being, and there are a million other things I’d rather think about. I just try to eat healthy Monday through…Thursday haha! And I work out three to four days a week, am walking all the time, dance on the weekends. I tend to do everything BIG– schoolwork, socializing, singing, blogging, living— and weighing myself isn’t a part of it. I used to weigh myself regularly (couple times a week), but that wasn’t healthy for me. I feel much freer sans scale! Hope that answers the question!

      • 18 SarahG

        Kailey- that was just the answer I expected. You are awesome- in every single way!

        Thanks and have a great week

        Sarah

  14. Ummm…pretending I’m not jeally of the cuke πŸ˜‰ Um, JK, think.

    Every single meal in this post made me hungry. My fave? Massive coffee+oats. Story of my life.

    And you look hotttttttttttttt in that outfit! Your posts make me miss college campus life so dearly.

    My vocabulary is terribly R-rated. I work with kids and I’m incredibly active on campus and constantly in contact with like the big deal professors and the school administration, so I’ve learned to shut it off at appropriate times (except for the time I couldn’t help myself and used ‘shit’ in a class discussion – it worked at the time). Trying to tone it down, but somehow now I have my mom and sweet grandma using the F-bomb like no biggie, and I’m a little shocked and proud at the same time.

  15. My vocab is not R rated, I used to swear frequently and now it only happens when I want to thoroughly express myself lol.
    I also only use it among friends and not outside, dunno I feel so childish and dirrrty (not the good way) when I do.

    Anyway, a quick question,how do you read when you workout?
    I tried that yesterday and I was hopping waaaay to much to properly read, I held on to the handles and it was still a little wobbly, any tips?

    Dating advice: NONE, I’m the most awkward person ever, you know when you watch movies and they are being awkward but it’s cute and they laugh and it’s part of the charm? Well, that doesn’t happen in reality, I say something random to fill the silence and all I get is the “…OK” and I feel stupid.
    Oh well, thank GOD I have a bf! πŸ˜€

    xxx

    • 21 snackface

      Pie- Hi sugar! I had an impossible time reading on the elliptical at first. I have no idea how, but I’ve become used to it. In fact, I’m so used to it I can have weights in my hands, punching the air, while ellipticalling and reading. It’s a lot going on, I know. All I can say is that it’s taken years of practice? That’s awful advice– I’m sorry! Ugh, these peeps you go on dates with sound lame. They obviously don’t understand how to communicate.

  16. 22 Little Bookworm

    I love this post! Love the outfit (and your hair) in the step 4 photo. πŸ™‚ That pitta looks amazing as well!

  17. Gosh I was I was your height..! As far as dating goes, I think it’s important to play the game. I was all about playing the game, and it always worked!

    • 24 snackface

      Jessica- Hells bells, I really need your advice when I’m actually dating, then! I don’t even know if I could recognize the game.

  18. Wow, what a post! Haha, yeahhhh…I am a culprit of spending 50+ dollars in the store when I go in to buy one little container of cream of tartar.

    That zuke is huge. Yowzas! Wouldn’t wanna stick that anywhere…hahahahaha
    Oh, speaking of which, I heard on the radio yesterday that you should not stick anything bigger than your elbow in your ear. How do you even fit a freaking elbow in your ear??? Got me.

    Hopefully you did well on your test. I have a govt. test today – forgot to study! EEP. Luckily, the teach gives us about 15 minutes to look over notes. Govt. just isn’t my thang…boringggggg.

    Oh, and where did you get that pita bread and what brand? It looks so thick and doughy. Mmmm.

    • 26 snackface

      Katie- Hahaha the elbow in ear thing has me rolling. What the hell would anyone be putting in their ear that’s that big, and why? Awful. The pita is Joseph’s brand– absolutely fantastic. I found them at Walmart!

      • Haha, I have no idea why someone would do that…weirdddd.
        Thanks for the pita info..I will have to check out my WalMart lo mas pronto posible. πŸ˜‰

  19. Love love love the weekend. My vocab is absolutely R-rated (by the number of F bombs I drop on a regular basis, probably X). Sadly, my dating life is nowhere near as exciting as yours. Mama J is one wise cookie, though. No pun intended. WCM Lunas are my faveee! Have a great week and get some sleep, girl!

  20. hahahahah. you are so awesome! and you look like a fierce in all 3 photos!

    hmmmm. my vocab is not R rated lol. I have deff. had my fair share of listening to it though from my crazy friends!

    As always, your outfits and YOU are gorgeous! love, love, love your posts. I get so excited when you update (and that’s not weird at all πŸ˜‰ )

    ❀
    Sara
    http://www.findingbalanceandbliss.wordpress.com

  21. **i meant “you look like a fierce diva” lol

  22. Kailey, have I commented before? Jee-zuss isn’t that sad? I’m losing my mind…can’t remember if I’ve ever left you a comment.

    ANYWAY.

    (Fairly) new reader! *waving*

    This is a perfect post for me to chime in on because I DEFINITELY HAVE A POTTY MOUTH. Can’t help it. Sometimes, there’s just no other way to better express yourself, ya know?

    Anyway, love this little corner of blogworld you’ve got here! I’ll be reading! πŸ™‚

    • 32 snackface

      Cassie- Welcome to the comments section! Haha, thank you for enjoying some SnackFace! I definitely got a bit of a potty mouth from my mama, so I can’t help it either.

  23. Love your scrunchy hair!
    Jenna xo

  24. I went on a date…once, with a boy I had already, ahem, shared some cookies with. Like you, I wouldn’t really know where to start on a date with a real college boy. Assuming you’ve already done the whole, What’s your major? Year? Who do you live with?, you have to find things that you actually have in common beyond a love for kegs of bad beer and obscene dancing. As much as I love those two things, they really aren’t enough to base a relationship on. If Muffin and this studly DJ man end up going out again, can you get her to give us some life-tips? And I’d love to know how she managed to survive winter streets in those uber-fierce shoes.

    I’m sure you rocked that exam, you Studyface, you!

  25. hahahaha. this post cracked me up.

    and you are seriously gorgeous! i miss my long hair and wish i could utilize the easy-peasy hair bun=beautiful waves trick. alas.

  26. 36 Kelly

    Dang, you are a dedicated studier! I’m sure you rocked that exam considering how long you studied and how quickly you were done the exam!!

    I am lusting for some of that dark chocolate PB…which I don’t think is available anywhere near me meaning I may just have to purchase it online. Too much? I don’t think so!! It looks divine in those oats!!

    Looking beautiful as always!! Definitely do a makeup post soon…yours always look fab-u-lous!

  27. You are too pretty for your own good! And you pull off collegiate chic better than anyone I know–straight out of a J Crew ad, beauty.

    1. I curse a little too much–it flits between a peppered vocab and a filthy one. I’m making an effort to cut back, which really means I’m not making an effort at all.
    2. Just have fun, be yourself, ask questions–don’t expect anything more than a good time and you’ll rarely be disappointed.

    • 38 snackface

      rustique- Honey, you are so damn sweet. Thank you so much! And I say a balance between peppered and filthy equals perfection. Then again, I am one who thinks Weezy is a genius with words… πŸ™‚

  28. I love balls in my pita… Of the edible variety, ‘Face-git ch’yo mind outta the gutter!! haha, i kid, i kid. Creepy stalker-esque observation: note the time you posted (11:18) HOLLAH!!!
    MA
    lilpauladean.wordpress.com

    • 40 snackface

      mary ann- Shooo homes, I totes thought of our birthday when I wrote that!

  29. Your makeup is spot on, girl! You look fabulous!
    Love the rated R quotes. Back in college (and before), me and my girls kept a “quote book” to remember all the memorable things we said!
    “I wouldn’t know what to do on a date anyway, other than explain why I was taking pics of my food.” You had me cracking up here, LOVE IT!

    For dating advice – be yourself – who couldn’t love ya?!

  30. man, i wish i had your study habits when i was in college! i remember being so busy that i ‘studied’ on my walk to class each day…..anyways, just remember to BREATHE when things get uber busy πŸ™‚

    ps: wanna trade hair? how does dark, straight, and un-styleable sound?! lol

  31. My vocab is rated R. Big time. You look great in your pictures. I love your makeup. I’m sure you did great on your test. I haven’t dated in so long that I don’t even remember how it’s done. I’ve been married for 7 years. I don’t suppose the hubby would appreciate me re-learning this aspect of college life. However, I could ask. πŸ˜‰ Just kidding.

  32. now THIS is a living spree! i love each and every single quote here. i am pretty sure the tampon one made me laugh out loud at my desk, to which my coworker asked what i was laughing about. since he is male, i spared him the word tampon and told him a friend had sent me a funny email. LOVE IT.

    you, muffin AND tropical (who is adorbs!) are FEROSH. love love love your outfit. i can totally dig an all-black ensemble with a lil’ animal print thrown in for good measure.

    i hope you survived your 2,000 page essay and got some sleep me lady. mr. lawyer didn’t end up calling back last night, which is all good because i passed out at 10:30am anyways, and i don’t need him to know yet how big of a grandma i am.

    HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER! love you! xoxox

  33. Oh my God I’m so glad I found your blog. You are hilarious and unique.
    Love your meals and outfits!
    I would say that my vocabulary is pretty R rated, but with so many good expletives, how can I limit myself?

    • 47 snackface

      Can you stay for dinner- (Why, yes, I can.) Thank you so much for finding me and enjoying! Yeah, I’m with you on the vocab. Whoooops.

  34. 48 Lizzy

    Girl you are the prettiest thing alive! πŸ™‚ I love your outfit for the weekend. I seriously envy your work ethic, you always seem on top of your work, and as i know you freak out at times about your course load, i always feel like you have a handle on it! I love it! you are so inspiring, and i totally look up to you! I wish we could be roomies, and work out do work together and all the other fun stuff! so adorable girl! Hope your having a good day love! πŸ™‚ xoxoxox

    http://saladdiva.wordpress.com

  35. 50 The Brunette

    My vocabulary is absolutely R rated… I’m working on toning it down a little, I really am, but it’s HARD once you’re used to it. Also, dates absolutely are a rarity in college, so kudos to Muffin. I’ve been in ONE in three and a half years, and it wasn’t even that great, but the fact that it was an actual DATE made it kind of awesome. I hope the “real world” is better in terms of dating, but I honestly have my doubts…

  36. 51 Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth)

    oh snackface, you are wonderful. that outfit is sooo cute and yay muff for getting that dateee!! your hair looks ADORABLE all scrunched uup!! love it

    my vocab is def rated R haha oops. and the best dating advice is probably just to be yourself!

    xoxo
    shelley

    http://findinghappinessandhealth.wordpress.com

  37. well with muff getting married to dj and my bff tied up with my guy bff, lets you and I run off together, k?

  38. love your outfits, I wish I could pull of as many styles as you can.

    how did the date go with the prince? will muffin be seeing him again? Totes agree with you abotu dating in college, I never did think it exsisted.

    I just got a jar of the dark chocolate dreams and havent opened it yet, Im a virgin to it an Cannot wait to try it

    I have that cuke sitting in my fridge as we speak, those eurpean cukes, quite large and in charge!!

    • 55 snackface

      Naomi- Ello! Muffin’s date went really well! I’m not sure how much she’d be comfortable with my sharing, but they’ve seen each other since the date!

  39. your weekend was fiiiiierce! mine involved an olympics party where all the men were dressed as bobsledders. meaning, wearing spandex suits. it was zexy.

    as for the dating advice, smiling and twinkling (not tinkling) go a long way!

  40. hahahahahahaahh give us more rated R posts! Please and Thank you.

    I’m just gonna recap my faves– the tamp comment, stalker sitch, MJ’s comment about the cookies AND mamaj’s about giving UP your cookies…LOVE LOVE LOVE.

    And you’re kinda HOT. Like whoah! Love the “man” to lady transformation!

    Now I need DCD back in ma’ life. Thanks for reminding me, AGAIN πŸ™‚
    I’m amped because I can actually re-create that spicy CC mess at my sorority house–all those fix-ins are in the salad bar, hollllla! The pita looks divine too. Mmmm, sabra.

    LOVE U BOO! YOU’LL MAKE IT THROUGH THE WEEK! I’m just like you in studying but its better to know yo’ sh!t and tell yourself to STOP rather than freaking out over barely looking over the notes and feelin’ like an under-prepared mamasita!

    Ps-no dating advice over here, how sad. HAHA
    All I know is that they’ll come to you when you’re not looking for it! That always happens!

  41. 59 Nicole G

    When I’m not in formal settings (aka work, school, with adults) my vocab can get R rated. I took an acting class second semester sophomore year and we had to do a solo performance where we are on the phone talking to someone who trashed out apartment when they were supposed to be housesitting. We we told to be ANGRY – so I acted realistic. I cursed like a mofo – dropping f-bombs like it was nobody’s business.

    Even though I grew up in the Bronx, I’m a 5’3″ white girl who is very proper and restrained in most settings. The first response from my teacher was “I felt the cursing was little unrealistic,” but one kid turned around and was like “She sounded pretty comfortable doing it!”

    So long story short – I can get a bit R-rated when it suits me =)

    Nicole G

  42. 60 Clare

    When I get with my girl friends my vocab – and conversation – is so R rated. I transform back into a well spoken and classy lady (well, maybe) where I need to though. And I have no dating advice, me on dates essentially consists of me getting nervous so therefore talking even more and even more quickly than usual, generally revealing multiple mortifying embarassing/weird things about me. Good stuff.
    Good luck with the exams, my dear.
    P.S. Great eats, by the way. I’m always so jealous of the fabby products you can get in the US (Dark Chocolate Dreams PB…I die!) that you can’t get in the UK

  43. 61 Paige

    I love this kind of post from you the best! Shows your flava. I just graduated from college in May, and my friends and I usually recapped nights with quotes as well. You know…still drunk the next day at brunch. Loves it. Answer 1: I have a dirty mouth most of the time, but I try to keep it cleaned up when I’m at work doing big girl things. Answer 2: I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years so I guess all the romance has gone out the window – but on our first date I ordered the pasta…huge mistake. Ended up with sauce all over my chesticles. So only order pasta if you’re dainty! πŸ™‚

    • 62 snackface

      Paige- Hahaha quotes the day after with brunch— hit the nail on the head, boo! Oh, and I’m so not dainty, so maybe I should take your advice.

  44. Girl, you make me laugh SO hard.

    Unfortunately, I have a little potty mouth. I wish I weren’t so darn R-rated, but alas, the F-word is one of my favourites.

    And dating advice?

    If he doesn’t make you feel like the most special girl in the room, ditch him.

    =D

    xo
    K

  45. Yes! I can be pretty rated R in my speech, which I try and leave out of the blog. Beautiful picture with the shower curtain in the background!

  46. you’ve got some damn good legs lady!

  47. 67 elleneatsbeats

    Hope the exam went well chica!! I get craaaaazy before exams so I feel that entirely!

  48. haha dating advice … well, uhh i don’t really know, since i didnt date a lot before my current bf and i think dating dynamics are highly variable from person to person (wow, that sounded nerdy, didn’t it…). maybe it’s like voting … early and often? haha, who knows, really. but i love your posts. i need to try some DCD, stat. it looks amazing, but possibly addictive, and i don’t know if i could deal with the financial/emotional impact of that. :p πŸ™‚

    • 69 snackface

      neurosciency- Well, DCD is $3.98 at Walmart. One jar a week? That ain’t bad. It’s less expensive that cigs, probably!

  49. Hi Kailey! I have been an anonymous follower for quite some time now and I just gotta say I love your blog/sense of humor/rated R dialogue (filled with sexual innuendos aka the cucumber pictorial) I finally have decided to take the dive and form my own blog after much careful consideration. I felt too much like an unidentified stalker without having a blog home of my own. Ha. Anyways, I was wondering if you had any advice for me starting up? I am a little terrified, but excited at the same time!
    Thanks girl!
    Courtney πŸ™‚

    • 71 snackface

      Courtney- Hi doll! Thank you so much for reading and commenting! My advice for starting a blog is: Know your angle. What do you want to blog about and what about you is different from all the other food blogs/ bloggers? I knew that my style of eating– AKA countless snacks– was a big part of what I’d be featuring. Along the way, though, you develop your own blog voice. Read tons of other blogs to see what you do and don’t want to do. Also, I highly recommend using pictures! I think that draws more attention. Most importantly (much like dating, I suppose), just be yourself. OH! And be sure to proofread, or people may not take your writing as seriously as you’d like. Really, though, people in the blog world are outstanding. I’ve never “met” people who are so kind on the daily! They’re super accepting, too. GAH!!! I’m excited for you! Hope my words help a bit! πŸ™‚

  50. Corn on salad! Why do I not do this???!

    Dating advice: If he ever checks out another woman, leave. That’s how I knew my husband was special, even when MY head whipped around to check out a hot girl, he never looked away from me. Big brownie points right there.

  51. 73 dana

    BALLIN’ POST πŸ™‚
    LOVED IT!!!!!! haha you are awesome!

  52. I spy some plates from Target…I have the same ones:)

    • 75 snackface

      BroccoliHut- Because there isn’t a Target in Athens, Ohio, MamaJ is always on the lookout for new plates for me. It is the sweetest thing ever!

  53. 76 Aunty Sue

    your Mother’s advice don’t cook for him make him take you out!

  54. Loves the spicy pita and collegiate outfit.
    And yes my mouth is most def Rated R…kind of have to work on that :p
    Dating advice…I think I’m just going to read all the comments your commenters left since I am in the same boat…though the dude Hitch is based on (David Coleman) just gave a lecture at my college this weekend on all sorts of dating advice…yeah..I’m still gonna read what everyone has to say to you πŸ˜‰

  55. 78 jilianmarie

    My vocab can be fairly R-rated…especially more R-rated than shown in the bloggy world. haha Dates weird me out…esp. “hey we’ve only met once and now we’re going to dinner” dates. Like…I get that the point is to get to know someone, but I’ve always ended up dating guys that I’ve sort of just hung out with, and then we were friends and then…we were together. I guess. haha

    My only advice…if games are played…peace out.

  56. man–>diva tranformation=incredible (not that you actually looked manly contrary to what I normally look like in a full out sweat suit). Teach me your skills chica

  57. Love the clothes, the food…I’m sure you did fantastic on the exam…you are forever studying! Good luck, girly!!!

  58. i could answer both of those questions using the word ‘fuck’.

    but im a lady. so i wont.

  59. LOVE this post! Look atchu and muffin in your little sex kitten outfit, haha! You ladies are pimp.
    I am the mouth of a sailor, who just finished a 5th of rum… nuff said.

    It seems like you demolished that test, hope you did eeexcellent! Question: Why do test always produce major anxiety? If you study and know the material you’d think freaking out over a scrantron wouldn’t be in the cards, but OH it is. Damn you higher education, with jer mind games.

    Um, that pita wrap made me salivate. I love carbs.
    Have a good week miss thang, much love!

  60. 85 Triple N Stephie

    Hello! I really love your blog, it is so fun and sweet!
    I just had a question: You look so fabulous all the time, and I notice you are
    really tall too. So regarding that, are you like a former model…or smth?
    I’m just so curious!!! I’m so envious at how fit & beautiful you are every time

    • 86 snackface

      Tripe N Stephie- Oh my goodness, you are too kind! Seriously, you’re amazing! Well, I have modeled in the past, but I haven’t pursued it as full as I’d like. Now that I’m about to graduate, I’m closer to my dreams of working at a magazine than modeling FOR a magazine. So, that dream may die… I also don’t know if I could handle critiques about my body. Not fun!

  61. Ok you need to stop making me jealous with your ability to do well in school, workout practically every day for much much longer than I ever do even when it’s once a month, go to school, go out, look stunning the whole time, and stay fabulous! Geez girly, you’re gorgeous and manage to be more productive in a day than I am in several months haha. Teach me your ways!

    • 88 snackface

      Gaby! Awwwww you are killin’ me! There is no reason to be jealous– I hope you don’t mean that. All I do is use time wisely, I guess? That’s not even true, though. The truth is that I don’t sleep much! And I would advise that for no one. But really, I do try to take advantage of my time. Today, for example, I have one class at 4pm, and that’s it. To make it all work, I get up at 8am, enjoy a leisurely breakfast + blog time until 10, then I walk to the gym, work it out while reading for class, head home, shower + get ready, eat lunch, do more work and then go to class. At night, it’s all about blogs and school work. I don’t do much work on the weekends, so I’m trying to catch up during the week. I’m not sure how balanced that is… haha

  62. LOVED the recap of your night quote style–I want more of them! πŸ˜‰

    My vocab unfortunately is rated R…even the boy gets mad at me! haha Whatever, somes i need to drop an f-bomb to make the world feel better.

    No boy advice, I’m struggling to keep up at the moment…

  63. ah that cuc has “that’s what she said” jokes written all over it.

    bah. you and muffy — so damn dimey! on the reals — how many heads do you ladies turn when you walk down the street (singing doo wa diddy diddy dum diddy dum).. sorry. couldn’t help myself.

    ah dating advice — I haven”t been on a legit “date” in, um, ever.. so can’t help ya there sister. I have a feeling if you act as snacktastic as possible then you’ll have problem nailing any guy you choose (I mean that in a totally innocent and appropriate way)

    love you pretty pretty princess!

  64. 91 elise

    fave post, fasho. or at least top 3. seriously. i need you and muffin in my life.


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