Blueprint Cleanse: Day 1
Hello party people! Today has been…challenging. In order to fully capture what it’s like for me to be on an all-liquid cleanse, I am going to write this in present tense with my honest thoughts/feelings/emotions.
5:45 am- Why am I up this early? Oh, that’s right. I’ve got to get this bod moving. And I need to pee.
6:08 am- The left foot doesn’t hurt too badly! I so can’t breathe right now. Wind, stop being a beezy.
6:38 am- Okay, I need to switch to intervals because the foot is acting up.
7:08 am- What am I going to have for breakfast? F. I can’t eat. Instead, I’ll drink ginger tea.
8:55 am- (Two cups of tea later) I can’t take this anymore. My stomach is completely empty and hates me. I’ll defrost this baby chunk of a banana. Much better.
9:01 am- Must make tea water immediately.
9:15 am- My dranks are here! Woopwoop! The beautiful Blueprint box is here and I can juice my day away. I’ll start with the adorably-labeled juice No.1:
Wow, not bad at all. This might be better without the apple, actually. I don’t like apple juice, and it makes it a tad too sweet. I wouldn’t mind tasting more of the green.
10:30 am- Someone please remove the peanut butter-filled pretzels from our meeting room. Please. It’s killing me.
11:08 am- It’s two hours later, which is when they recommend people drink their next juice. Will do because I’m getting hungry:
Why on Earth must I start a cleanse on the day I have to make lunch? WHY!? It’s okay, I’ll just make everyone else what I wish I were eating: brown rice pasta with a tomato-basil-roasted zucchini sauce and a big salad. Damn it. Ignore your growling stomach.
2 pm- It’s been more than two hours, therefore go get another juice. Also make your fifth cup of hot tea for the day. Also pee for your 20th time today.
Halfway through the juice, hunger goes away. And for some reason, I have loads of energy and don’t feel like I want to fall asleep on my keyboard. But I still want something more! Distract yourself with writing.
4:30 pm- I’m ravenous. What the f*&k am I doing? Do people really do this voluntarily? YES, you did, your freak. Get another drank:
This drink has the perfect blend of sweet, tart and heat. I need to replicate this! So freaking delicious! And I like having my Comfort and Joy tea to balance this. But what is this headache around the crown of my head? That’s normally a hunger headache in my book.
6 pm- I have to leave work and stop looking at food photos. It’s driving me insane. No more product research! I’ll go get quarters and do laundry to distract myself from my pain. Stop being dramatic.
6:30 pm- Alright, I may have to break down eat something solid. Soup? Rice? Tofu? Oatmeal? No, you have to give this cleanse a go. Get another juice:
At least I finally like these now. It certainly doesn’t measure up to the rice+tofu+greens concoction Charlotte is cooking, but it’s good.
7 pm- Stop reading food blogs. Just stop. You’re being mean to yourself.
7:49 pm- I need something! I’ll just have my last juice a bit earlier:
And now as I type this, I’ve had only half of that juice and feel stuffed. I think the two hours in-between each juice is key. As soon as my stomach empties, though, I really feel like I’m going to eat the next thing I see.
Blueprint Cleanse makes it unbelievably easy for busy people to cleanse their bodies. I’m currently on the Founder’s plan, as I told the PR contact that I love my sugar. And my weekends. All you do is order your cleanse on-line, decide which day you’d like to start, and then the company overnights fresh, labeled juices for you to drink throughout the day. It’s super simple, all vegan and rather tasty.
Day One Summary:
CONS: I want real food. I’ve felt really cold all day. I’ve peed countless times. I had a bit of a headache. My stomach empties in no time and leaves me very, very hungry. This would probably be better if I didn’t have to look at food all day.
PROS: It’s easy! The juices are simple and delicious. It takes me an hour to drink one juice. At some points during the day, I was surprised at how energetic I felt. It’s almost as though the lightness of everything kept me awake. Sick? Maybe. I’m not bloated or gassy at the end of the day.
I’m hoping I’ll be able to fall asleep easily, then wake up and the day will fly by. I’m not running tomorrow for a couple reasons. I don’t want to re-injure my left foot and I don’t and I don’t want to faint. Good enough, right? To be honest, if I’m feeling really really hungry, I’ll probably eat a little something. I don’t do well with depravation. Does anyone, though? Okay, must fetch my laundry and hit the hay!
Ciao for now,
QUESTION: Would you ever try this? Why or why not?
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