Voice or No Voice?

18May09

Hi lovelies!  I am thrilled you all enjoyed the ANTM story and the banana pants! You all are too darn sweet! This weekend has been insane. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Let me take you on the rollercoaster.

SATURDAY

Much to my annoyance and disappointment, I awoke on Saturday– the day of my a capella group’s biggest performance– with no voice. It had returned for a bit on Friday, but the voice died overnight. An even more phlegmy cough also had developed. I was panicked and emailed the group’s leader for her advice.

People are amazing in times of crisis– no matter how minor or major they seem. Losing one’s voice doesn’t seem to be that big of an issue to some, but I couldn’t believe that of all days, it chose (yes, I’m personifying my voice) not to work. My group leader immediately talked to girls who could take my solos if need be. She also sent detailed instructions of what to do and what not to do. To do: drink lots of tea, water, Throat Coat, rest. Not to do: talk, drink caffiene, whisper (apparently it’s very hard on your vocal chords). I did my best to abide by these guidelines.

I started with the same warm breakfast I had Friday (it was that good!):

White Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Blackberry Oat Bran. That's not obnoxious, is it? ;)

White Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Blackberry Oat Bran. That's not obnoxious, is it? 😉

In dat bowl: 1/3 C oat bran, 1/2 naner, few blackberries, cinnamon, 1 C water, White Chocolate Wonderful spoon. It was during this breakfast I noticed my lack of voice was turning into something else. I had a difficult time tasting. Son of a nutcracker! I was between tears and fury, not wanting to cry to further the already-building congestion and not wanting to swear and yell to further the already-voicelessness.

Instead, I turned my attention to blogs and Bravo, knowing I wouldn’t be able to get any homework or quality writing done.  Occasionally I tried to sing a bar from some song of choice (“Energy” by Keri Hilson at one point– no clue, but I do love that song) to see whether the voice wanted to cooperate. More often than not, it said, “Hell nawww.”

After water-logging myself for a handful of hours I had a craving for comfort food. Crack wrap with a side of vitamin C:

RIDICULOUS crack wrap. Ooozing. Those strawberries were steroidal, by the way.

RIDICULOUS crack wrap. Ooozing. Those strawberries were steroidal, by the way.

That gave me enough energy to pull my hiney off the couch and into the shower. By the time I had finished that and gotten dressed, I was wiped. Hmm, inability to taste, no voice, weakness…illness, perhaps? It took me a long time to get ready, and at some point I had a stalk of celery with Naturally More (unpictured) and then this mango:

Not the best pic, but it was supah sweet and succulent-- succulent is such a questionable word

Not the best pic, but it was supah sweet and succulent-- succulent is such a questionable word

At 4:15 p.m. a fellow a capella member picked me up and took me to practice. She was so sweet to bring me Throat Coat, sweetened with honey and Splenda. She gave me an extra tea to take home after our practice, and I actually thought it was fab without sweetness. But that is neither here nor there.

We went to the music building to go over our songs and get the jitters out before our 8 p.m. performance. It was a true test to see whether I had a voice as well. We warmed up slowly, and then sang our first two songs. Miraculously, I had a voice! Unfortunately, it was a bit hard to control my dynamics, but I was happy my vocal chords were producing anything.

Before we started our third song I was feeling confident I’d be able to make it through the night. Then something dripped from my face. Blood. I had a nose bleed. Not just any nose bleed, though. It was pouring out of my face. I’m sorry, I know that’s gross. I was terrified. I thought, “well if this is not some kind of sign, I don’t know what is.”

It took about 15 minutes to stop, but eventually it did and then my friend and fellow singer, Hannah, and I walked over to the church (location of our gig), where the girls had headed when I was trying to stop the madness. We sang through a couple more songs and I felt my voice tire. It was fading again.

Kat, another Tempo Tantrum member, came up to me when we were leaving the church and told me about this raunchy-tasting spray, Singer’s Saving Grace, that she’d used before when she had no voice. “Do you want to try it? I can bring it,” she said. Uhhh, yes please!

I rushed back home, changed into my performance outfit (just dark jeans, heels and a black top) and scarfed this salad and drank tea:

Spinach, romaine, cukes, corn, raw brussel sprouts, Bragg's

Spinach, romaine, cukes, corn, jicama, raw brussel sprouts, Bragg's

I had 1/4 a pita after that, topped with blackberry preserves. Eating before singing is always a challenge. The last thing you want to do on-stage is to burp up a Boca or something.

I high-tailed it in my heels back to the church, which is a good 20 minutes away from my house. I arrived with a sweat-coated face and a hope that my voice would return.

Listening to all the other groups of singers was so inspiring it made me beyond excited to perform. When it was finally our turn to go on stage, I said a little prayer and walked on with a smile. If my voice failed, I’d still try to diva it up.

I had an absolute blast up there! We sang to a full, mind you steamy and humid, house, and…the voice was back! I didn’t do my absolute best on my solos, but I was happy to squeak out anything! As soon as videos go on YouTube, I will let you all know, so you can see me be a complete ham as Barbie.

After the gig, I wanted to hang out with my girls some more! Thankfully, there was an after party for that. I stayed a couple hours and then met up with MisterMan. This is where the night turned. It’s getting more and more difficult the closer it gets to my departure. We’re both busy (he moreso than I) and finding time together hasn’t been the easiest. Little fights have been popping up, which is tiring and sad. There have been tears lately, more than I like to admit. I put myself to bed shortly after MisterMan left my house.

SUNDAY

At 9 a.m. I woke up to sunshine in my room and tissues next to my bed. I sneezed and snotted my way through the night. Ick! Illness is setting in, fo sho. I had a couple phone therapy sessions, one with Muffin, one with MamaJ, and then I made an enormous bowl of cereal:

Cereal mess and Koffee--caffeine eases my sinuses...

Cereal mess and Koffee--caffiene eases my sinuses...

I actually measured the cereal to see how big 1 C of kamut puffs is. Whoah! In the bowl: 1 C kamut, 1/2 C Kashi Go Lean, 1/2 C Peanut Butter Bumpers, blackberries, strawberries, 1/2 scoop protein powder, soy milk, sprinkle of flax. Delicious and almost too much. Almost.

Gorgeous

Gorgeous

After breakfast I gathered all my notes from my barber shop visits, the leads I’d previously created and tried to construct a storyline. I feel as if I have so much information to share in so few alotted words (1,500-2,000 word requirement). It’s also tough because I don’t want the piece to start getting a list-y feel just because I want to throw little details in there. I let the thoughts brew while I showered, dressed and made lunch.

Can you see the vent in the upper left corner? I'm a phenomenal photog.

Can you see the vent in the upper left corner? I'm a phenomenal photog.

In the pita: Laughing Cow, Roasted Garlic Sabra hummus, cucumber slices, red onion, lettuce. This completely fell apart on me, but it was delicious. What I tasted of it, at least. I’ve been going through tissues like crazy to try to keep my nose clear. Poor nose is turning red and raw.

After lunch I holed up in my room and wrote a very rough draft of the barber shop story. It took about four hours, but once I was into it I didn’t want to stop. Is that a huge that’s what she said? I hope so. Anyway, at hour three I stopped to have a snackadoo:

Fuji apple with a spoon of White Chocolate Wonderful-- had to get a dose of it somewhere

Fuji apple with a spoon of White Chocolate Wonderful-- had to get a dose of it somewhere

I also drank tea non-stop throughout the day. Anyway, this rough draft is not going to be looked at again until Monday night, when I have distanced myself from the piece a bit. I’m thankful I was able to focus through my worsening congestion and sinus pain. By 5:30 p.m. I was convinced that this icky feeling was no longer a fluke or a blip. I’ve felt this way before. I’m prone to the dreaded sinus infection. I haven’t gotten sick at all this school year, so I suppose it’s time!

MisterMan picked me up at 6ish and we had a lovely, happy, joyous evening together. He ordered Avalanche pizza for us! My half was supposed to have no cheese, but somewhere a mishap occurred. Whatevs, I needed it:

His half: pink with ham. My half: green with spinach.

His half: pink with ham. My half: green with spinach.

On my half: marinara, mozzarella, artichoke hearts, fresh mushrooms, spinach, sundried tomatoes! This was incredible! I actually looked up which veggies are high in vitamin C before I told MisterMan what I wanted as my toppings. I’m too much sometimes. Oh! There was this fabulous pesto that we dipped out pizzas into as well. Mmm! I had three pieces of this scrumptiousness:

I also topped this beauty with crushed red pepper

I also topped this beauty with crushed red pepper

There’s only one thing that goes better with pizza than a Blue Moon: ice cream for dessert. We had Edy’s Slowly Churned Mint Chocolate Cookie Crunch. Le petit bowl for me:

So good!

So good!

I’m always torn about what to eat when congested. I’ve heard dairy is bad, but cold ice cream always feels so good on the throat! And it’s so comforting.

After dinner, MisterMan worked on his computer and I made note cards for a presentation I have tomorrow. Then he drove me to Tempo Tantrums (a capella) practice, where I gave my leftover pizza to Hannah, who was starving.

I came home and had something I won’t call a green monster, because I’m not sure the exact ingredients of those, and this was nowhere near monster-sized. Shrek baby:

That may look putrid, but it tasted great

That may look putrid, but it tasted great

Shrek Baby: huge handful spinach blended with water, 1/2 naner, thawed frozen strawberries and bloobs, 1/2 scoop protein powder. Not bad at all!

I realize that this is an enormous post, but I had to take you through the details of the weekend! I also realize that some of it is very Debbie Downer, but overall I had a great Saturday and Sunday. And MisterMan and I are currently typing sweet nothings to each other on AIM. Cheeseballs. Hope you all had fantastic weekends!

Ciao for now,

Kailey

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24 Responses to “Voice or No Voice?”

  1. Aww feel better my darling! I’m so happy that you were able to rock it out while singing with your voice back though!! You left me on the edge of my seat for a while there….is this a blog or a suspense novel (NOW THAT’S CHEESY)?!

    My pops always says no dairy whatsover when you’re sick, but I mean….you looked up which veggies had vitamin C in it (for that amazinggggg lookin’ pizza…), so i’m sure you covered it! Just try and eat lotssss of fruit, lots of warm comforting oats and soup, and rest!! I usually take a break from working out since I’m so weak when i’m sick, but lots of people like to work out the illness…..so just do whatever you feel up for!

    I’m sorry about the mixed emotions going on with you and misterman, I’m sure you two are loving time spent together but also subconciousnly frusturtaed/bitter that it’s ending soon, which is probably causing all the little tiffs!

    That pizza and scandalous crack wrap are making me HANGRY….ready for my nighty snack!!!……Have a good monday Kailey, feel better love!

  2. 2 Sarah

    Oh Lovey, I’m so sorry you are sick! You are such a brave woman to even attempt to sing your solo all congested and voiceless. I can’t wait to see the video!

    Your crack wrap is perfection, as is your cereal mess and that scandalous pizza. Speaking of scandalous, that may have been one of the best “That’s what she said”s the blog world has ever seen!

    Hope you feel better tomorrow!!!

  3. I’m glad your voice came back for your performance. Nose bleeds always seem to happen at the worst times possible its ridic! The pizza looked splendid and same with the nice big bowl of cereal yummo! Fancy mango cutting kailey woo!

    xox bri

  4. 4 sue

    oh i’m so happy you got your voice back to sing your solos…way to build the suspense. i was so worried! that pizza looks insaneee!

  5. 5 Jen

    It’s great to hear that the performance went (sort of) well!! I hope you feel better soon, and that things with you and MisterMan get better. And for what it’s worth, I think looking up the Vitamin-C-rich pizza toppings was a great (and hilarious) idea! 😉

  6. 6 Emma

    I’m so sorry to hear that you are sick – sinus infections are the worst! But you showed it who was boss – congrats on the performance!

    I’m also sorry to hear about MisterMan. But with the AIM, it sounds like there are good times as well. 🙂

    Take care, and feel better! I’ve heard about the dairy thing, but it is comforting. Tea is good, and so is rest.

    Love,
    Emma

  7. 7 rediscoveringlauren

    hi sweetheart,
    wow,the thing with your voice sounded pretty scary, but im so glad you managed to sing your heart out and do what you could 🙂 your awesome hun!
    lovin all the eats, especially that pizza..it looks so good!!
    have fun chattin with misterman 🙂
    much love
    xxx

  8. 8 shelby

    I’m so sorry about your voice…what a crappy day. But at least it came back so you could sing, I can’t wait to see the videos! I bet you were amazing girl.

    The cereal, oats, snacks, sandwiches, pizza..it all sounds amazing.

    Happy Monday! (can those 2 words even be combined in a sentence?!)

  9. 9 Amanda

    you’re so cute! i’m glad i found this blog!

    and i’m also glad your voice came back in time! i woke up this morning to no voice too but i don’t have to do any singing today, thank God! no one wants to hear me do that, ever…

  10. I can’t wait to read your barbershop story, sounds so fun. I’m so sorry about your voice- I’m glad the conflicting dairy reports didn’t keep you from the ice cream! That’s pretty gnarly about the bloody nose too- I’ve never gotten one and I get totally freaked when I see them, blood pouring out of someone’s face?? That just ain’t right

  11. 11 Katharina

    Ohh I hope you feel better! Try some ThroatCoat tea 🙂

  12. boo! cant believe your voice decided to take a hike at THAT moment and time — i’m so proud of you for getting through it, and i cant wait to see/hear the videos!!! please feel better soon. that’s not a wish, it’s a command. thaaaanks.

    oh and nosebleeds were the story of my childhood! i used to get them SO often, bizarre. i was a weird kid though. needless to say, i sympathize!!!

    that pizza looks aaaaa-mazing, and duh ice cream is always ok in my book! hope you’re feeling better today, lots of love! xoxo

  13. 13 homegirlcaneat

    I love your vitamin C infused pizza! Way to be innovative 😉

    I can’t believe you had such a hard time with your voice over the weekend!! That ain’t right! But it sounds like you showed IT who’s boss and worked it mami! I want to see videoooo!!

    And boo for nosebleeds! The only nosebleed I’ve ever got was when I was at soccer camp in 8th grade and the sexy British coach crossed the ball in front of the goal to head-dive it in…so i dove and the ball smashed into my face and then into the goal. It was rough, but his praise was worth it.

  14. hey k! i cant believe your voice was failing on you this weekend, that must have been super stressful on top of feeling all-around crappy. I’m so glad you got to sing and do your solo. love that you were determined to make it happen no matter what!!!! sorry to hear about you and mister man too…sounds like it is purely situational though, which doesn’t make it any easier exactly, but at least you know the lovin is still there, which is something to hold onto 🙂

    hope you are feeling better, have a great monday!!!

  15. 15 Sarah

    first, congrats on your voice success!!! you made it through, phew 🙂
    i’m sorry about the stress with misterman. it’s SO hard to make every moment perfect when you feel the long distance looming and aren’t sure how it will work out. as much as you want to enjoy every second you have together, it’s not that easy! good luck — i know you will figure it out 🙂
    that pizza looks amaaaazing. maybe i need to make pizza for lunch! plus the mint choc cookie crunch. nothing better than a marriage between mint and oreos.

  16. 16 Sweet and Fit

    congrats hun!

    that avalanche pizza is makin me hangry! it looks delish!….and you probably did really need the cheeeeeese!

  17. 17 Anna

    Wow, that’s a lot of excitement. From the blood to the massive quantities of cereal consumed, you had quite the ride. I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing better though and that you can make plenty of noise and are happy with Mister Man.

    So I’m not 100% sure where I learned this, but dairy is mucus inducing (gross sounding) for most people because 70 – 80% of people have a mild dairy allergy. So when dairy is consumed, your throat coats itself with mucus to protect it from the offending food. I found that dairy makes me a little phlegmy, but if you find that you don’t have an issue with it you’re probably in that minority of people for whom it doesn’t pose a problem. And if it works, don’t fix it!

    Have a lovely Monday!

  18. awww I am sooo happy your voice came back, but how stressful to have been rushing around all day and just not knowing! def. have experienced similar incidents with injuries and skating….and skatin competitions!!

    hope your Monday is wonderful!

    your pizza is making me hungryyyy!

  19. I am siting in class in Bentley and have been reading this blog for an hour! haha – Im glad your voice was back in force ready to put on a show! I hope it went well – I was at 6fest standing under a tent without a care in the world! AVALANCHE! Holy cow! You have to send me what you got because that is a MUST ORDER before graduation in a month! Glad all is well!

  20. Ah shooot, I just realized that I used a title that you’ve ALREADY repped on my last post….”baby got back!” Yours was with a question mark, but I knew it sounded familiar!

    Sorry i’m such an ass….hahhaa love you Kailey!

  21. Hey darlin,

    I just wanted to post a quickie comment saying that I’m still here! By the end of the week I should be done with finals and ready to participate in the blog community once again! LOL.

    Hooray for the end of the year?

    That pizza pic is making me hungry…

    With Love,

    Emily

  22. 22 Megan

    You are soo cute! I’m glad your weekend turned out okay.. how could it not with all that cereal porn!?

  23. 23 jaime

    my love!!!

    just catchin up now– so sorry ive been MIA with comments this weekend– i had grad!!

    i hope your voice is feeling better! that can be sooo frustrating!!

    totally LOVING your big ol bowl of cereal in the last post– as well as that FABULOUS pizza you had with misterman and the FUJI with WCW! yummy!!!!!!!

    and as for ANTM– girlll you are gorg– if you want to be a model you GOT THIS– just like the journalism thing– in fact you’d make a great model/journalist!! you are just amazin lady– cant wait to watch u conquer the world! xoxox

  24. 24 Bec

    glad you were able to get your voice back just in time!


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