Wanna Be On Top?


Hello everyone! Thank you all for your voice recommendations! I sipped water and tea all day, didn’t speak much and by 7 p.m. I was singing to “If I Were a Boy” while getting ready. Success! My throat still feels icky today, but I’ll treat it the same way I did yesterday.

To kick off my throat-healing process, I had a comforting, warm bowl of oat bran:

Oat bran topped with a dollop of White Chocolate Wonderful and no Koffee because caffeine is horrible for the vocal chords

Oat bran topped with a dollop of White Chocolate Wonderful and no Koffee because caffeine is horrible for the vocal chords

In this moan-worthy bowl: 1/3 C oat bran, 1 C water, 1/2 thinly sliced banana, handful blackberries, ground flax, cinnamon, nutmeg, White Chocolate Wonderful. GAHHH!

Peanut butter trail

Peanut butter trail

I let breakfast digest a bit before I changed and gathered my things to go to the barber shop. Friday was the BEST day to be there, as a local high school football coach recently was fired. Thus, the gossip and speculations were flyin’ throughout the shop! Perfect, perfect material. Oh, and the barbers were giving me advice for my throat. Their solution? Jack Daniels.

I stayed there for a couple hours and then headed to the gym. This workout felt much better than the previous day’s. I just took it slow on the elliptical and read the latest issue of VegNews. After the 45-minute session, I worked on some abs and arms, then headed back home.

By this time it was already 4 p.m. and I was gettin’ hangry. Sarah, I must thank you because I finally bought the plastic fat free swiss. It makes all the difference in the world. The REAL CRACK WRAP:

Real crack: Flat-out, fat free swiss, Roasted Garlic Sabra hummus, grilled to perfection; orange along for the ride

Real crack: Flat-out, fat free swiss, Roasted Garlic Sabra hummus, grilled to perfection; orange along for the ride

I repeatedly said, “oh my gosh,” while I was eating that. So good. For the vegetable round, I went orange too:

carrots (I went back for another), orange bell pepper, not-Sabra hummus

carrots (I went back for another), orange bell pepper, not-Sabra hummus

That wasn’t enough, so I took a White-Chocolate-Wonderful coated spoon to the fat free yogurt container. Finally, I was happily full.

After “lunch” I chatted with Muffin and then took a shower. I realized something sad and crazy while scrubbing my golden locks: this is my last weekend in Athens this school year. This might sound awful, but I decided I’d rather be with Muffin and MisterMan than go to the a capella slumber party that I’d leave early anyway. Plus, I’ll be with those lovely ladies all day today. And I had no clue where the party was. I know, excuses excuses.

When I was finally make-upped, blown-dry, straightened and dressed, I had a proteiny snack before going to Muffin’s:

Think Thin on top of a preview of the Banana Pants

Think Thin on top of a preview of the Banana Pants

These bars have some odd ingredients that you wouldn’t expect to be in something that tries to play it off as being natural and pure, but I still like them. Their texture is what hooks me: chewy and soft. And it does have a peanut butter filling in a chocolate coating that melts on my fingers. Candy bar!

Took a nice bite outta that

Took a nice bite outta that

That is where the food photos ended (more was eaten, fo sho), and the night took over. Muffin currently is housing five Post alumnam, and I simply had to go over to enjoy the night with them! We danced for hours on end to faves like “A Milli, “Swag On” (I’m not even sure that’s the title) and “Gold Digger.” Speaking of gold, and all things yellowish, I introduce you to Muffin, Me and the Banana Pants:

I love my babygirl!

I love my babygirl!

So maybe they’re more Banana Cream Pie-colored, but that doesn’t sound as good. Those are the pants I purchased when I was on spring break in Miami last year, when I made it through a couple rounds of auditions for America’s Next Top Model.

I know, I’m crazy, but I auditioned for the show in Findlay, Ohio, last February. Not thinking anything of my audition, I received a call in late March, just before spring break. You can imagine my shock when I was in the library and the person on the other end of the phone was from ANTM. She told me the casting director wanted to meet me, and that the locations to do so were L.A., New York and Miami. The only time and locale that worked was Miami, and somehow, it perfectly coincided with my spring break.

I didn’t think I’d be able to go because, come on, how would I get a flight to Miami in time? Well, my dearest Popsicle made it happen. He flew MamaJ, Matty Rich and me to Miami for a few days so his little girl could try to live out a dream.

The audition day lasted from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m., when I finally taped my audition for Tyra. In the hours leading up to it, we went through a couple rounds of eliminations, and with each I was amazed I’d made it through. For the first round, we all stood in a circle. We had to share our height, weight, interests, crazy stories/ whatever was going to make us stand out. Once we’d finished that, we had walk-offs. I am not kidding. We had to strut to and from the camera next to another girl.

After that round, we had a small break, and then returned to tape our official tapes for Tyra. Before we could tape, however, we had to walk to and from the camera in our bikinis. Ah! No one look at my booty! There were at least 30 girls who had to tape before I could go. The most challenging part of all this was not to allow the other girls to intimidate me, and also, not to be intimidated by the casting director for CBS. She was a small woman, but she was mighty. You don’t want to mess with her.

I watched several girls tape, some of their personalities disappearing under the hot lights and the eye of the camera. I’ve never heard so many girls call all the other girls “bitches.” It’s permanently turned me off from using it.

My time came at 1 a.m. It was my turn to impress and lure the judges and Tyra into thinking I could be on top. Thankfully I had waited so long that I no longer was nervous to tape. Questions ranged from “why do you want to be a model” to “what is the craziest thing you’ve ever done” to “have you ever been violent with anyone” to “what’s the hardest thing you’ve had to deal with?” It was evident they were digging for dirt, for the scoop and the story that will attract viewers. They were looking for the drama.

I left my audition buzzing with excitement. The casting director and I got along swimmingly, I had made her laugh hysterically when I popped my booty, dancing for Tyra. They had even turned on music for me. I left the director with a smile on her face.

Unfortunately, that’s where my ANTM tale ends. I was upset that I was only one step away from the L.A. round of auditions and didn’t make it, but I realized I’m not made for reality television. A year later, I can see that a t.v. show for models who never actually make it, wasn’t the path for me. I am thankful for that.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my little story! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! Enjoy the weekend, lovelies!

Ciao for now,



26 Responses to “Wanna Be On Top?”

  1. Well…whiskey is good for a sore throat! Give into the JD! Glad you’ve come around to the chemical crack wrap – isn’t it great?!

    I LOVE THE ‘NANER PANTS!! They’re hot! Walk offs – for some reason this made me think of Zoolander 😉

    What a fun story! Too bad you didn’t make it but in all honesty, you deserve better than Tyra! When you do hit it big, don’t forget about little Miss K in MI!! 😀 Have a great Saturday, Miss Fabulous!

  2. 2 Jen

    WOW, that’s such a neat story! The fact that you got through those rounds is really cool in itself; it’s okay that you didn’t go further. Clearly, it was the people calling names and being controversial that did. No worries.

    P.S. I like the banana pants with that tee. So cute!

  3. Glad your throats feeling better!!

    And while you are sooo gorgeous and would beat out any girl on ANTM, I think you are just not “bitchy” or “catty” enough for that show! I’m glad 🙂

    I love the banana cream pie pants though and they do have a nice story to go along with!

  4. 4 Sarah

    so happy to hear your voice survived the night. and also happy to hear that you’re spending your last athens moments in exactly the way you want.

    i love your antm story. they should have picked you (obviously), but i’m glad you realize that you’re made for bigger and better things!

  5. 5 BB

    that’s so cool that you auditioned for antm. i also really like those banana cream pie pants. very cute.

  6. 6 Anna

    ANTM! What a great story. I’m sure it’s a huge blessing in disguise that you didn’t get any closer to Tyra – she’s highly entertaining but also more than a little insane. I feel like they go for mildly crazy, highly competitive types in the final casting process, and it’s practically a complement that they didn’t feel you were right for the show. Although meeting Nigel Barker would’ve been quite the experience. I have no doubts that he’s actually kind of old, but DAMN is he yummy.

    Enjoy these last few days in Athens!

  7. 7 Shelby

    I’m so glad your voice is better girl!!!

    Fantastic oats, crack wrap, and veggie plate. I would have totally gone back for the PB as well =)

    LOVE the banana pants! haha
    Oh and great ANTM story. I used to want to audition but then I realized…um I never see the girls who win. Top model my ass!
    The only reason I would want to go now is if I got to meet Nigel Barker…dayummm he is smokin’!!! haha

    Love you xoxoxo

  8. haha dude totes agree on Nigel Barker! That’s an amazing story, I’ve done similar auditions for dance, like things I never thought I’d make but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity! What a freakin’ awesome experience, and once you get over the initial pity party and bummed-ness about not making it…..you’re like, DAMN that’s pretty awesome that I made it that far!! 😀 have a great wknd with the friends, glad you’re feeling better!! xoxox

  9. 9 erin

    okay so i had NO idea you are a top model.
    my big sister, the model
    whatttaa ya know!

    mmm crack wraps mmm..
    i love how close you and your best friend are.. it really is endearing.. its a kind of friendship that is one in a million.
    i know, so lame of me..but true!

  10. 10 rediscoveringlauren

    hi sweetheart,
    wow that antm story is crazy! your too nice and real to be on that show anyways hun 🙂 to beautiful INSIDE and out…cause alot of the girls just bitch about eacother behind their back to cause drama and get camera attention.
    you and muffin look gorgeous as usual!
    lovin the crack wrap…something i must try for myself soon….
    have a great saturday hun

  11. 11 homegirlcaneat

    You are superstar in my eyes! I loved that story. I love anything celeb oriented because it’s way too amusing. I could only imagine the cattyness between all the girls . I don’t think I could do it just because of them and their rude words! But youz a diva..you could have taken them on. And I would have yo back!

    Once I was babysitting and the mom had those thinkthin bars and she froze them and they were sooo good frozen! Reminded me of my childhood and freezing snickers! Hooray!

    Still, I am tres excited for your SF adventure! I will show you the best places and we will partake in a couple brews along with some FROYO and WF action!

  12. 12 Bec

    bah thats so cool that you auditioned for ANTM!!!! have a great weekend girl 🙂

  13. Cool story! I bet it was a blast to get that far! No worries girlie, you’re gorgeous and are better than that drama-filled show (which I’m addicted to haha)

    Love the banana pants! Cute!

  14. 14 Emily

    oooh, neat story. I love the banana pants too!


  15. First off, your little photoshoot with the cat from the last post and your header comments were HILARIOUS…..I couldn’t stop laughing, you are wayyy too adorable Kailey, not crazy!

    And YAAA ANTM story!! You so fierce. My friends always wanted me to audition too, but I knew I had too good of a life to make it…they want drama, sadness, etc…and I wasn’t having it! I loved the story and I’m not surprised you made it as far as you did, but I see you more on make me a supermodel anyway….they’re more legit!

    That crackwrap looks DIVINE, I still need to make one….yikes…. your oats sounds extra delish today, those banana pants are ADORABLE, so fun, I want them….and I like the funki-ness of that think thin bar too!!

    I hope your voice heals soon and enjoy your last weekend my love! 🙂

  16. 16 Emily

    fun story! i think tyra would totally intimidate me. too fierce!

    love the yellow pants too!

  17. thanks for sharing your little story with us! none of the models who actually make it become “top models.” I think you’ve destined for greater things!
    all your eats look delish…esp that bursting, oozing wrap!

  18. Thanks for the backstory on ANTM, I always wondered how they picked the finalists. Though I’m not surprised that they go for the drama more than the talent from the get-go. Be glad you didn’t have to deal w/that bs.

    Food looks good, I’m lovin the crack wraps myself.

  19. 19 Megan

    That’s awesome you made it so far in ANTM!! I love that show!! You are absolutely gorgeous girl! Btw, I love your banana cream pie pants.. they’re fantastic in my book 🙂 I hope you’re having a great weekend.. I’m glad you’re voice is coming back!!


  20. 20 Sarah

    There ain’t no crack wrap like the original crack wrap cuz the original crack wrap don’t stop! Makes me want one…NOW! Thanks for the shouts.

    I love your ANTM story! What was Tyra like? Was she just breathtaking? Was she sweet and down to earth? Clearly she has some vision/decision making problems by passing on your go-juss self, but whatever. I wasn’t digging this year’s winner AT ALL.

    Happy weekend!

  21. You’sa superstar kailey! Antm thats ridic but you defs are to good for antm where the models go nowhere. Your destined for greatness girl! I’m glad your throat got better so you could sing your little heart out. Good eats today!

  22. Cool story Kailey. I so wish I could try a crack wrap! but no dairy for me :(. Cute banana pant! I am also 5’10 but not as tiny as you!


  23. youll always be my top model. ;]

    also..i must meet these barber shop
    fellahs. cookies and jack daniels!?!?

  24. Now I have the Top Model theme in my head! Haha

    I LOVE Sabra…it’s the best hummus out there.

  25. Um, could you get any more ridiculously good looking? I think not! Those pants are totally hot! I have never owned a colorful pair of pants before – you are rockin’ them!

    I love your ANTM story! It shows what an awesome person you are: “I’ve never heard so many girls call all the other girls “bitches.” It’s permanently turned me off from using it.” <—that is so interesting! It’s too bad that they didn’t have the sense to choose you to move onto LA, but honestly, you have so much more class and are so not the drama that I think you are out of their league, anyway 🙂 You deserve to be on top – but on the path YOU choose. Basically, I just think you’re the best in every way!

  26. girl you are famous. you’re gonna be on TOP without tyra! i cant belive that story! crazy! you have a special heart and youre going somewhere BIG! know thisss 🙂 LOVE YA!

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